Unfamiliar Road
by JuliaGoldsworthy
Summary: They used protection. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. It wasn't fair. Clare Edwards is pregnant after losing her virginity on prom night. How will Eli Goldsworthy, her boyfriend and the father, react to the news? Will they pull together and raise their child? Read to find out! After prom night in a world where Clare doesn't have cancer.
1. CH 1: Different

**Hey anyone who's reading, **

**Thanks for stopping by! This story takes place after prom and after Eli and Clare's first time. However, in the story Clare doesn't have cancer. I'm thinking about doing a story with that soon but I'm not sure. Anyways, thanks for reading and let me know what you think!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"And the tears come streaming down your face_

_ When you lose something you can't replace"_

_-Fix You._

_-Cold Play._

* * *

"Hello?" I heard from the other side of the phone. Clare had sent me a text earlier this morning asking if I could call her later and even if I only had five minutes to talk I wanted her to know I didn't forget about her.

"Hey." I said. "I got your text. What's up?"

"Oh, um, I, I have something that I need to tell you." her voice was shaky. "Some news."

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so, I just-"

"Goldsworthy!" I heard my nam called from the set.

I ignored it. "What did you say?" I asked, covering my other ear.

I heard her sigh. "It's nothing. I've just missed you. A lot."

I smiled. "I've missed you too Clare." It had only been about two weeks since prom and graduation but it had felt like an eternity. I missed Clare like crazy already so I knew that the rest of the summer and school year would be hard. But I also knew I would visit her soon.

"Could we Skype later? I just really need to see you."

"And tell me your news." I reminded her.

"Right." she paused for a second before continuing. "So ten o'clock?"

"See you then." I said. "I love you."

"I love you too." she said. I hung up and went over to see where I was needed.

I loved being on the set of a movie. It allowed me to experience what the rest of my life would be like. One day I would be on the set of my movie, yelling at my own assistant to get me smoothies and run my errands and pick up my dry cleaning.

But for now, this was good enough. Even though I missed Clare, it was worth it. I knew we would be together soon. I knew that I would get to hug her and kiss her and hold her in a matter of weeks. Tonight though, Skype would have to be good enough.

* * *

I held Alli's hand as I hung up the phone. It was so hard to hear Eli's voice and know that by tonight his world would be upside down. I knew mine sure was.

"You didn't tell him?" Jenna asked from the other bed.

"No how am I supposed to tell him something like this over the phone?" I asked.

I collapsed back on the pillows and started crying again.

This wasn't supposed to happen to someone like me. I'm an honor student. I'm involved in tons of extra curricular activities. I go to church every Sunday. I'm supposed to go to Columbia next year and live with Eli. I'm a good girl. This isn't fair.

It was one time and we used protection. How could this have happened? I was so confused and I just needed to talk. I didn't need to hear what Alli thought I should name it and how she would be the greatest aunt ever. I didn't need Jenna to compare what K.C. said when she told him to what Eli might say later. I needed Eli to know and be able to talk about this with me. I needed to hear his voice telling me that it was okay. I needed to cry into his chest instead of a pillow that smelled like too much hair product. I needed his arms around me and his hands on my back and for him to understand.

But that was so selfish. How could I pull him away from something he loved? It was his dream to make movies and just weeks after he's starting to make that dream come true, I'm going to ask him to leave it all behind for me and this baby?

I thought for a few seconds while Alli and Jenna talked about what they thought I should do with it. Jenna said she thought I should try my hand at keeping it because she thought I would be better at it than she was. Alli agreed and started thinking of all the cute outfits it could wear. I was running through my own plan in my head.

"What if I just didn't tell him?" I said quietly.

Their voices stopped before Alli spoke. "Clare are you crazy?"

"I thought you said you wouldn't get an abortion. That it was against your faith." Jenna said.

"I'm not saying I would have to get an abortion." I sat up to face them. "Eli is going to be away for months at a time without seeing me while he's on this movie. I could have a baby and give it up for adoption without him ever having to know."

"Yeah but isn't he supposed to visit you, like, all the time?" Alli asked.

"Only like three or four times in the next few months." I said. "And when I get really big I can come up with a reason that he shouldn't come. I could say I'm sick and wouldn't be any fun to be with anyways. Or that my family is going on vacation. He probably wouldn't question it."

"Yeah but don't you think Eli has a right to know that he has a kid?" Jenna said in a rather snarky tone. For someone who had worn these shoes before she sure wasn't being very supportive about it.

"If he ever did find out it would be years from now. He would probably be thankful that I didn't make him deal with it."

"Yeah but this is his responsibility too. It's his baby just as much as it is yours." Alli said. Jenna started talking again and they were back in their own world.

I turned over in the bed to lay down.

Whatever I was going to do I only had a short amount of time to figure it out. I had to talk to Eli at ten o'clock tonight and he was expecting some sort of news.

* * *

What had happened to me? I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub waiting for the alarm to go off telling me three minutes was up and I had to see what my future held for me. I was supposed to be going to college next fall, not planning to have a baby.

A baby. _A baby_. That still sounded so insane. Even after almost three weeks of thinking about it and wondering if I could be pregnant and even some picturing of what a mini Eli would like it still seemed crazy to think that months from now I would had a swollen belly with a baby growing inside of me.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he would totally understand and come home and tell me he wanted to be a family. Maybe he would help me tell my parents and that no matter what he loved me and that he would be there every step of the way in this child's life.

But maybe he wouldn't. Maybe this would all go terrible and he would leave me and tell me that this was my fault. Maybe he would tell me that I was stuck with this kid for the rest of my life and that he wanted nothing to do with it.

And there was still the third option of not telling him. I'd planned it out a few days after I realized what I thought was a stomach bug was probably morning sickness. Maybe I didn't have to tell him at all and I could figure things out for myself. Have the baby secretly and give it to a great family who had the ability to take care of it. Eli would never have to know and we could still live in New York next year and lead normal college lives.

Then, there was always the possibility that I wasn't pregnant at all. That it was a stomach virus that caused that flipping feeling in my belly and that I was just being paranoid and silly.

The timer went off. I froze. I had to look at it.

Taking painfully slow steps, I walked over to where the test had been laid.

I looked at myself in the mirror before picking up the test.

My eyes fell upon two pink lines on the white stick.

I looked back up to the mirror. I saw the same girl, it was just that now she would never be the same.

I woke up in a sweat. Even in sleep I couldn't get away from the nightmare that happened earlier in Alli's bathroom. I couldn't keep reliving that.

It was nearing nine and it was almost time to talk to Eli. I'd come home at about four and seeing my mom was awful.

She acted so normal. Like she always had. Like I was still her little St. Clare. Her Clarebear who had grown up in Sunday school.

It would be hard to tell her about this. What would I do to her? What would she do to me? I doubt that she would be happy about being a grandma at forty-five.

It had been impossible walking through today. Everyone was so normal. My mom had said 'I love you' before she left for work this morning and before I left for the drugstore to buy the test. Adam, who I'd seen at the Dot, only blinked an eye at me because he noticed that I'd gotten tea instead of coffee, but he otherwise acted normal. Alli and Jenna had greeted me with girly chatter as always before showing them my recent purchase.

Eli's normalcy hurt the most. His concern when he thought something was wrong, his simple I love you when he was saying goodbye. I hated knowing that I would have to be the one to take his current reality and shake it up entirely. The thought of it broke my heart and I started to tear up.

Just then there was a knock on my door. I stopped my tears before they could continue falling and the door opened.

"Hey dinner is ready." Jake popped his head in the door. "Chinese." he smiled, thinking that would sound great to me. Right now though it just made me want to barf. Is that what pregnancy does to people?

"Yeah, I don't think I'm having dinner tonight. Go ahead and eat without me." My voice sounded strange from crying all day.

His eyebrow raised and he walked in, shutting the door behind him. "What's wrong?" he took a seat on my bed.

"It's nothing." I said. "I'm just being emotional." I looked at my hands.

"Oh, so it's _that_ time of the month again." he scoffed.

"I wish." I mumbled. Apparently it was still loud enough to hear.

"Well then what's wrong?" I loved that Jake cared so much but there was no way I could tell him before Eli. It just seemed wrong.

But then again I didn't know if I was even telling Eli. Maybe a guy's perspective would help me figure things out a bit.

After a few moments of contemplation on my part Jake spoke again. "Listen, I don't want to, but if I need to go down to New York and give Eli a beat down I will." he said matter-of-factly.

I smiled. "No Jake that's okay."

"I mean I would do that for you. I'm pretty sure I could take him."

I shook my head. "Yeah I'm sure you could. That's not why I'm upset though. Well it kind of is, but it's not something that he did. Okay, well it's not something that he said. It's just-" I sighed. "I'm going to have to tell Eli something and I'm not sure how to tell him or if I should at all or how he'll react if I do. I'm just confused and I-I don't know."

"Well I do know Eli pretty well. I might be able to help you figure it out." he shrugged.

"Jake I don't think getting high with someone a few times qualifies as knowing 'knowing them pretty well'."

"Hey, Eli and I are friends...kinda. We have spent time together without being high and we've had some pretty decent conversations." I contemplated that for a moment. "You know, if you want my help come get me later because that General Tso's chicken is calling my name." he started to get up and I stopped him.

"Wait," he turned to face me. "I want your help but you have to promise that you won't tell my mom or your dad before I figure out how to."

His face suddenly grew concerned and serious. It wasn't a look he wore well so I'm glad he stayed chipper most of the time. I was just hoping that he wasn't another person who would look at me different after I told him. Then again, how couldn't he. "Okay." he agreed.

I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

His face didn't change for a second but then he smiled. "Yeah okay so what's really going on? You don't know how to tell Eli that you don't think his title on his last essay was very centered? Or wait, is it that you're starting to get uncomfortable because he's starting to wear more eyeliner than you again?" he laughed and I didn't move.

"Okay." I nodded and turned to lay back down again. The time was nearing ten and if Jake wasn't going to give me real advice then I had to figure it out myself like I planned.

"No, come on Clare, what's the real problem?" he held my shoulder so I couldn't look away.

"I'm pregnant.' I nodded.

He looked into my eyes for a minute and squinted. He must've realize I wasn't kidding. "No way." he said quietly. "No way!"

"Jake!" I warned I didn't need my mom to be reminded that neither of us were at the table yet.

"Eli finally did it huh? He popped St. Clare cherry? Good for him."

"Jake!" I said and I started crying again. Is that what people would really think after they found out.

"Oh, damn. I didn't mean it like that. Okay, um," he pulled a tissue from the box on the nightstand and handed it to me. "What are you going to do?'

"I don't know. I know I'll have it, I just don't know if I want to keep it. I don't even know if I'm going to tell Eli."

"What?' he seemed more surprised than Alli was.

"Well think about it. He'll be in New York all summer and he won't visit much in th fall. It'd be easy."

"Okay do you want my advice?' I nodded and he got comfortable on my bed. "If my girlfriend was pregnant, I would want to know. We could talk about it later, you know, the future and stuff, but I would want to know that there's a piece of me growing inside of her. Something that we both created."

"That's really sweet Jake."

"Thanks, I've actually thought about having kids a lot."

"Really? Why?" I asked. I was surprised to hear that someone as care free as Jake had thought about having real responsibilities.

"Well mostly when I was working on the garden. You plant something and watch it grow and you're proud of it when it stands tall in the sunlight for everyone to look at. Really gardening it a watered down version of parenting." he laughed and I couldn't help but do so too.

"So how do you think Eli will feel?'

He stood. "I can't say for sure. I mean, I know he's not an asshole or anything so I don't think he'll leave you totally alone or anything. If he can't be completely involved then I think he would probably at least support you."

His words were a strange kind of comfort. He wasn't like Alli who was 'totally and completely' sure that Eli would be a great father or like Jenna who thought he would most likely leave me behind to fend for myself and my baby. Jake brought me back down to reality. It was realistic that Eli might stay in New York and send money when he could. It made sense that he would support us from a distance and still go to school. It wasn't what I would prefer but it seemed like that's what the compromise might turn out to be.

"Then again," he said. "I've heard New York can turn even the nicest of people into assholes so I might be wrong."

"Okay, go eat dinner." I said and smiled.

"I'll tell them you're not feeling well." he nodded and started for the door.

"Hey Jake," he turned to look at me again. "Thanks."

"Anytime." he nodded and shut the door behind him.

I looked at the clock and noticed the time was nine forty.

I walked over to my door and locked it.

Even if I didn't know what I was going to say, I knew that no amount of time, let alone twenty minutes, would be enough to figure it out.

* * *

I'd finally gotten back to my apartment around nine thirty. It was strange to find that running errands all day was actually really tiring. I now have a newfound respect for stay at home moms.

I noticed that it was almost time for mine and Clare's Skype date. It was going to be interesting figuring out this whole long distance thing but I think it was something I could get used to eventually.

After making myself some dinner and changing into a better shirt I turned on the computer. I expected Clare to be online already but she wasn't. It was a few minutes before ten so I excused it.

I was still half worried about what news she had to give me. Maybe she had decided that being so far away wasn't such a good idea after all so we should just end things. I thought our relationship was stronger than ever, especially after prom, but Clare might not agree.

What if it turns out that she was disappointed and needed some space to think about it? What if she somehow felt pressured into doing something she wasn't comfortable with? I mean, I tried to ask before doing anything I thought she might have a problem with. I was constantly asking if it was 'okay to take this off' and 'if it was okay to do this'. I was gentle and I tried to be patient but it was so hard when she was so beautiful.

She was incredible. Laying right beneath me like that with the candle light flickering on her skin, making her glow. The way she moaned and said my name when I touched her. How her unexperienced hands moved across my body, somehow knowing just what to do. It was hard not to take her as soon as we got on the bed.

I thought that it was perfect and there wasn't a day that passed where I wasn't thinking about that night. Maybe she didn't think it was as great. I guess I would just have to talk to her to find out.

It was ten after ten and she still wasn't online. I texted her to see if she had fallen asleep or didn't notice what time it was. Without a response she signed on her Skype.

The window expanded and my beautiful girlfriend was looking at me from the other screen. The lighting wasn't exceptional and her screen was kind of fuzzy but she was still perfect.

* * *

I'd tried to stall and I even considered not getting on at all. Maybe I could just tell him that I fell asleep and missed it. But I knew that he would call and text and who knew the next time we would have time to sit down and actually look each other in the eyes instead of just hearing the other's voice.

Mostly, I couldn't stall because I couldn't go through another day without knowing how Eli felt.

Finally, after he texted asking if I was still getting on I opened up Skype and clicked his username.

When I saw his face I couldn't help but relive this morning when I looked in mirror and saw myself once, and then again and I was totally different. Did I really want to do this to him?

"Hey blue eyes, you're looking beautiful tonight." he smiled. "I would've brought you flowers but it seemed kind of pointless."

I smiled and tried to make most of the call seem normal. "Thanks, you look pretty handsome yourself." He really did. With his new, grown up, New York apartment as the background and his unshaven jaw looking very manly I couldn't help but melt at the sight of him. "And don't worry, I understand about the flowers." I smiled. "So how was your day?" I asked.

"Fine, surprisingly tiring. But, I don't want to talk about that now. I want to hear you news." he settled into his bed and stared contentedly at me.

"Are you sure? I want to hear all about you being a production assistant. It sounds very exciting." I smiled.

"It's really not. I pretty much fetch smoothies and get dry cleaning. I'm actually barely around the filming at all besides when I deliver things to Brett. It's not as glamorous as it sounds Edwards."

"Well, are you sure that you don't want to talk about it? After I tell you my news, I'm not sure if we'll be talking about much of anything else."

He tensed. "Listen, Clare, if this is about prom night-"

"It is." I said.

"Okay, I know that it might not have been what you expected but if I could just-"

"We used protection right?" I interrupted.

His face froze for a second. He blinked and then spoke. "Yeah. Yeah of course I did. I used a condom." I could tell he was trying to keep his voice level. I started to cry again.

"Clare," he said in the same tone.

"Well, it's just that-it must not have worked or it must've busted or something because, um. I-Eli, I'm-'

"Clare," he said again, his voice was harsher.

"Eli," I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

And then he was different.

* * *

**Okay, and that's my first chapter :)** **Be sure to leave a review letting me know what you think and how you think Eli will respond to Clare's news. **

**Thanks for reading! Update next Friday-see you there!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes  
**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**


	2. CH 2: We Can Handle This

**Hey guys,**

First of all, THANK YOU so much to anyone who reviewed or followed or favorited this story! It seriously means soooo much which I why I updated early. I just finished it was so excited I had to post it! :) Maybe I'll post twice a week until I start school. I don't know, look at my bio for an update on that soon. Anyways, another chapter will still be up Friday. This isn't as cliffhangery as my last one but yeah.

**Enjoy!**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"I am yours_  
_ And i know that you're mine_  
_ You're worth waiting for_  
_ You're worth waiting for_"

_-Be My Only_

_-Fm Radio._

* * *

I stared at the screen and waited for him to say something.

His expression was hard to read and I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

"Eli, please say something. I just needed you to know okay? We need to talk about this, we need to figure things out."

"Clare, I-" he started. "I have to go." he shook his head.

"No Eli, please don't I-"

The screen was already black.

My breathing started to quicken and I felt like I was drowning. Deep down I thought that Eli would be okay with this. That he would be there for me and he would pull me through this and that everything would be okay. This was him too, not just me. How was I supposed to do this on my own?

I picked my phone off my night stand and called Alli.

"Hello?" she said.

"Alli, I-." I was starting to get hysterical. "I told Eli."

She spoke slowly. "It didn't go well?"

"No. I told him and he just said that he had to go and hung up." I tried to wipe away the tears that were falling from my eyes but it was useless.

"Do you want me to come over? We could talk."

"That's nice but I really just needed to talk to Eli about this you know? Like he could make it all better but, but now-" I didn't finish my sentence. I didn't really know what to say. I knew that Alli wanted to help but she couldn't.

"I'm sorry Clare." she said.

"I know." I said. "Me too."

I talked to her for a few more minutes but I eventually hung up. I didn't want to bore her with my tears. If I was tired of crying than I'm sure she had to be tired of hearing it.

I thought about going back to sleep but I couldn't yet.

I remembered that I had gotten more than one pregnancy test. Three in all different brands and types. One answered with lines, that was the one I used this morning, the other gave you faces, and the third had plus and minus signs.

I got out of bed and went into my bathroom. I'd hidden the bag underneath the sink just in case my mom had decided to clean in here after work today.

I emptied out the bag on the counter and pulled one of the tests out. It had to be the most awkward things I'd ever done, or at least one of them. Why did pregnancy tests have to be so weird and complicated? Maybe they were just trying to warn you so you would expect what the rest of pregnancy would be like.

After three minutes the timer went off and I looked at the test. A plus sign.

My heart still sank even though I knew that would probably be the result. I still tried the third one.

Three bottles of water and fifteen minutes later I had a smiley face staring back at me. I double checked the box to make sure that a smiley face meant positive because I don't think I had smiled all day.

I heard Jake outside in the hallway, apparently the rest of my family was done with their normal dinner. He was telling my mom and his dad goodnight.

I suddenly found myself really pissed at Jake. He was the one who told me to just tell Eli. He was the one who said that he thought Eli would understand. He was the reason that I felt so horrible right now.

I flung my door opened and grabbed Jake's arm, pulling him into my room.

"Hey! What're you doing?"

"I told Eli." I said after shutting my door.

"What did he say?" he asked.

I sighed. "He hung up on me, Jake. He didn't say anything."

He scoffed. "Wow, really? That doesn't sound like Eli."

My eyes narrowed. "Jake you're the one who told me to tell him. You're the one who said he would probably be fine with it. You're the one who said he'd want to know and now everything is ruined. I can't take it back, he can't make it better, and he doesn't even want to. He can pretend it's not happening but now I'm stuck here by myself and it's your fault because you told me to tell him." I started crying again and I idly wondered how many tears I could cry in a day.

He looked annoyed. "Yeah I said he would _probably_ be fine with it, not that I knew for sure how he would feel."

"But you said to tell him and things would be better if I hadn't." I walked towards him and pointed a finger at his chest. "Why did you tell me to do that Jake? Why?" I was getting loud and my fists were hitting his chest. I was just so furious at the whole situation I needed to take it out on someone.

"Clare, stop." he tried to grab my wrists but ended up just having to pull me into him. "Clare stop it." he said. I cried into his chest for a while and he let me.

I pulled away and he looked at me. "Clare, I'm sorry things aren't going ideally for you but does it really matter? At least he knows."

He started to walk away and I stopped him. "Yeah but now I don't have him." Jake turned to look at me. "I don't have him for support or to talk to or to help me raise this kid." I started to cry and idly wondered how many tears I still even had left in me.

"You weren't even going to tell him an hour ago." he said. "Now you at least know how he feels." That didn't make me feel any better and he must've realized. "Clare, you don't need Eli to raise this baby. You're going to be a kick ass mother without anyone elses help. Besides, even if you don't need it you have plenty of people who are going to be here for you. Me, Alli, your mom-"

"Yeah right." I said. "She'll never forgive me for this."

He walked over to give me hug. "It'll be a hard few months but I'm sure she'll get over it eventually."

"Yeah right. I'm making someone call her grandma."

Jake laughed. "Listen I'm going to go call Eli and see what's up okay? Why don't you try to get some sleep?" I nodded and he left.

I laid down in bed and tried to clear my head for awhile. Maybe sleep would help me forget for a little bit. Maybe sleep would help me forget that Eli wouldn't be calling me tomorrow around noon just to tell me he loved me, or maybe it would help me forget that I wouldn't be starting my morning with coffee for a little while. At least, I hoped it would.

* * *

I woke up early the next morning, or at least early for a Saturday. Light came shining in the window and I blinked at the clock that read eight. I turned over and decided it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go back to sleep.

I closed my eyes again and I felt an arm wrap around my waist. It took me a second but then I shot up to look down at whoever was beside me.

"Clare," he said, putting a hand on my back.

"Eli?" I sighed.

I thought I might still be sleeping but I blinked a few times and realized that he was really here. His hair was messy from laying with me and I could tell he was tired. I was confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Jake let me in. I meant to wake you up when I got here but I'd been driving all night and you looked so peaceful so I just-"

"No," I said, standing up to be away from him. "Why are you here?"

He looked at me with a confused face. "What do you mean why am I here? I-"

"No, you hung up on me last night after I told you-" I paused and swallowed. It was hard to wake up to the same reality that I left behind yesterday. "What I told you and you can't be here now. You hung up, you were done. You don't want anything to do with me so why are you here?" I yelled.

"Clare I'm sorry." his eyes got big and I could tell he was being honest.

"Well you should be." I didn't really know what else to say.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sat on the edge of the bed with my back to him.

"No, Clare, I'm sorry that you didn't understand me. I could never leave you."

"What?" I shook my head and my eyes narrowed at him.

"I hung up because I knew this wasn't something that we could talk about over Skype. I had to be here with you."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to understand. Eli was here and he wasn't leaving me by myself.

He looked like he was going to say something else but I didn't let him. I turned and caught him in a hug. Tears fell onto his shirt and he kissed my head.

"It's okay Clare." he rocked me back and forth. It was such a relief to know that he would be by my side during all of this. "Its okay."

We sat there like that for a few moments before I finally spoke. "Eli, what're we going to do?"

He sighed and looked at me. "That's up to you."

"Eli I can't, I can't get rid of it, I just-"

"I wouldn't expect you to." he grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes. "Clare just know that whatever you do, I'll be here for you."

I nodded. "I, I think we should-" I got a nauseous feeling in my stomach but I tried to speak on. "It would probably be best if-" I heard a ringing in my ears and I covered my mouth.

"Clare?" Eli asked.

He reached an arm out to me but I ran to the bathroom.

* * *

I held Clare's hair as she puked. Her body lurched as she emptied her stomach and when she was done she flushed the toilet. God, I felt so bad for her.

"Eli, you should go." she didn't look up at me.

"Why?"

"This is gross." she grabbed toilet paper and wiped her mouth. "You don't need to see me like this."

She stood up and walked over to the sink to brush her teeth. I hopped on her counter top. "Clare," I shook my head. "I'm going to see you all the way through this, to the very end. So you better get used to it." I smiled and she came up from the sink.

"That means a lot." she said.

I held my arms out to her and she came into my chest. "God Clare," I played with her hair as I spoke. "You looked so scared last night. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Oh and this is such a relief?" she scoffed.

"It's not the worst thing that could happen." I chose my words carefully. "We can handle this."

She looked back at me and smiled before walking back into her bedroom.

"Is my mom here?" she asked.

"Oh, no she left for work early this morning, or at least that's what Jake said."

She flopped down on her bed and then looked at me with a sudden seriousness.

"So what do you think we should do?"

"What?" I asked.

"About the baby." she sighed like it was hard for her to say.

I smirked and walked towards the bed to sit by her. "I guess I didn't think it was up for discussion."

"What does that mean?"

I looked at her and saw how scared she was. "Clare, do you think we could do this?" I asked.

"I don't know." she answered with a shrug. "I mean, I could do school from home or something and I'll have to get a job but I could make it work." Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes as she looked at me. "But Eli, you're supposed to be going to university in New York and making your dream come true and I'm just some pathetic, pregnant, high school girl with a kid who would be holding you back and-"

"Clare I'm all in, remember?" I grabbed her hands and held her eyes. "I'm in this for the long run."

"You don't have to. I can do this by myself." she spoke quickly.

"I know you can." I nodded. "But I want to. I want to be the one to go get you whatever insane food you're craving. I want to be the one to hold your hands at the ultrasounds and doctor's appointments. I want to be at the hospital with you. I want to take it home with you. I want to see it off to school and kiss it goodnight and tell it 'I love you' and give it the best life possible." I swallowed. "University can wait. Clare, I want to raise our baby with you."

She looked at me for a few moments and then smiled. "_Our _baby."

I nodded. "Our baby."

* * *

**So there it was :) I hope you guys liked i! Let me know in the reviews!**

**ALSO; I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL to write an extra chapter where it's Eli getting the news and then driving all night and what Jake said to him on the phone and when he got to Clare's house before she woke up so we can be inside his head when he finds out and stuff like that so...LET ME KNOW :) **

** I'll probably do it even if no one reviews about this because who reads authors notes anyways?! :)That would also be in addition to the chapter on Friday. So if I were to do that it would probably be up Thursday or something...ooh or maybe Saturday...I don't know. This is getting long. Okay.  
**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it :)  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes~Julia Goldsworthy  
**


	3. CH 3: Don't Bother Getting Mad Yet

**CLARE'S MRI CAME BACK CLEAR! YAY! (Who watched Thursday's episode?)  
**

**Anyways, I know this is being posted late in comparison to how I normally do it but I was writing this and the extra chapter with Eli at the same time so it took a bit longer. **

**That chapter by the way will be up on Sunday so watch for it!**

**Enjoy!**

**Whatever. It. Takes. **

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

**p.s. The Ed Sheeran lyrics below don't particularly fit with the chapter like the other songs did with previous chapters but there is an instrumental climax at the end that was amazing and I wrote the last part of this chapter to it...so that's why. :)**

* * *

_"Give me love like never before,_  
_ 'Cause lately I've been craving more,_  
_ And it's been a while but I still feel the same,_  
_ Maybe I should let you go,"_

_-Give Me Love._

_-Ed Sheeran._

* * *

My head was resting on Eli's chest. I could hear his heartbeat quicken and then return to it's normal pace occasionally. I figured he was thinking about what our lives would be like now that we were going to raise a child. I wondered if he was as scared as I was, even if he didn't act like it. It was intense to think that in a few months I would be listening to a similar sound in a doctor's office and not in the comfort of my own bedroom, except only then it would be the heartbeat of our baby.

"How are we going to do this? We don't know anything about being parents." I laughed.

"Well if everyone else can do we should be able to." he laughed and I playfully hit his chest. "So, what do you think it will be? A boy or girl?"

I scoffed. "I don't know."

"You haven't thought about it?" he sounded surprised.

"Have you?" I asked. I propped myself up on my elbow to look at him.

"Well yeah." he smirked.

"Well what do you think it's going to be?"

"A girl. And she's going to have ocean blue eyes and curly hair just like you." he laid back and put both hands behind his head, smiling, bemused, at the ceiling.

I thought it was nice that in the middle of all this Eli had thought about our child.

"I don't think so." I said, partly just to disagree with him, but the little bit that I had pictured the baby I thought it would be a boy.

"Of course you don't." he rolled his eyes.

While it was nice to talk about the future with Eli it was still scary to think that soon we would have to stop just talking and start planning.

I started to think about the more immediate things we would have to deal with. "How are we going to tell my mom?" I asked. It was her who I was really worried about. My dad hadn't really been around much since the divorce and for the sake of this situation I was glad.

It would be hard to look into her eyes and disappoint her so badly but I couldn't keep this a secret from her. I hated letting people down, especially people who I cared about, so to look into her eyes and tell her that her honor student had messed everything up would be terrifying. Saint Clare wasn't so saint like anymore and I knew that would kill her.

"Tell her how you told me." he said.

"So I should just come out and tell her is what you're saying?" I asked.

"No, over video chat." he had a fake confused look on his face and I laughed.

Things were good now but I didn't know how they would be this evening when my mother would find out she was going to be grandma.

"Eli, what if she doesn't get over it? What if she kicks me out?"

"Do you really think it's very likely she'll do that?" I noticed he was playing with my hair as he spoke.

"I think it's a possibility." I said.

He kissed my forehead. "We can go to my place."

"Are you sure we could move to New York just like that?' I asked.

"No, not in New York, to my parents house." he clarified and I was a little less scared.

"Do you think they would let us?" I asked.

"Not for forever but for a while. Probably until you graduate."

I was confused for a moment. "Wait, Eli, what about you? What about NYU?"

He shook his head. "It will have to wait. I guess I could take a gap year and then reapply. If I don't get in then I go to Toronto University." he shrugged.

"Eli, NYU is you dream. Don't let me hold you back." I sat up.

"No, you're my dream Clare." he said. I felt a blush come across my cheeks. "University can wait."

I felt bad but I couldn't argue. Things had been so much better since Eli had arrived. I'd felt so much more at ease that I couldn't bear the thought of him actually leaving. It was selfish but I really needed him, at least for the summer.

"So what do you say we go back to sleep for a while and then we can go out to lunch?" he asked.

I nodded and cuddled back into him.

My being pregnant didn't change that I'd missed Eli terribly these past few weeks. It would be nice to go out and spend the day together, especially with what we would have to face later tonight.

* * *

We'd woken up at about noon and then went to the dot for lunch. We ended up staying there for quite a while, discussing the way things would be for us in the next few years.

"Maybe we both move to New York," I suggested. "I can finish high school online and you can still go to NYU on time."

"You deserve to graduate Clare," he said. "You've worked too hard to let something like this get in your way."

"Something like this?" I asked. "This isn't some petty, high school stuff anymore, Eli. Having a child is a real life responsibility." I lowered my voice so no one would hear. I didn't really want rumors circulating all summer about me, even if they were true. I would rather address it myself when school started.

"It doesn't matter what it is. You worked hard to get to where you are now and you should be allowed to celebrate that. Plus it wouldn't be fair. I get to graduate from Degrassi and you have to go online school?" he shook his head.

"Of course, I want to graduate from Degrassi but it just might not be what works out for the best." I said.

"We'll make it work." he nodded. He grabbed my hand from across the table.

"But what about you? I still get to do all the things I wanted to this year and you don't?"

"I'll still get to do the things I want to do." he said. "I'll still go to university for film, where ever I am and maybe after you graduate we could move to New York and I could go to NYU but right now I want to be here. Besides, maybe this isn't as horrible as you think it is." He raised his eyebrows at me and then took a sip from his cup.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"We get to spend more time together now. The entire summer and all of next year-"

"Yeah but it won't just be the two of us."

He smirked. "I know. It will be even better with three of us."

I admired his positive outlook on this but I didn't agree. Things would be harder. Day-to-day life would become more difficult having to constantly be worried about my child. If Eli really thought things would get better than he was delusional.

I shook my head. "You're optimistic about all of this."

He nodded. "Like I said, this isn't the worst thing that could've happened. I'm relieved."

After talking for a little while longer we got the check and headed out. We didn't really talk much about actual baby things, mostly because it was still a weird subject to talk about, let alone in public where someone from Degrassi might over hear. I knew they would all figure it out eventually but I didn't need anyone knowing just yet. Not when I didn't even quite know what was going on myself.

"So, what do you want to do Edwards?" he asked as we started driving.

"I don't know. What do pregnant teenagers do these days?" I laughed and he shrugged. "Do you think we should tell your parents?" I suggested.

"Eventually. CeCe's probably still at work and Bullfrog would be sleeping." he smiled.

"Well I don't want my mom to be the first person we tell."

"So you're saying we should tell Ms. Dawes first?" he asked.

"What?" I laughed.

"Well this is her fault you know. She's the one who paired us to be English partners."

I rolled my eyes and he laughed. It would nice to practice on someone before having to face my mom tonight. I told Alli in a crying fit over the phone before I went to her house and I only told Jake because I needed his advice on what to do. I thought for a minute. "What about Adam?" I asked.

He looked over at me and smiled. "He'll have a heart attack." he laughed.

"He's the best person to go to." I said.

Eli nodded. "Are you sure?" he asked and I nodded. "Okay." he smiled and pulled away from the curb.

* * *

Eli knocked on his door and Drew answered. "Oh, hey guys." he said.

"Hey Drew, is Adam here? We need to talk to him." I said.

"Uh yeah." He called back into the house for Adam before letting us in.

"So, Eli aren't you supposed to be in New York?" Drew asked as we made our way into his living room.

He looked at me and then back at Drew. "Not really." he shook his head.

Drew rolled his eyes. "Oh, well okay then." he nodded and Adam came bounding down the steps.

"Drew why did you-" he saw us and his face lit up.

"Hey Adam." I said.

He ran over to hug us and stepped back. "Eli? Aren't you supposed to be in New York?"

"Not really." Drew said before Eli could. He looked amused with himself, as always. We stared at him for a second and he got the hint. "I'll leave you guys alone." he walked upstairs.

"What're are you guys doing here anyways?" he asked.

"We have something to tell you." I said.

"Okay but first let's get out of here. Let's go do something. Becky is away all summer and I can't stay in this house anymore."

"Adam we really need to talk to you." Eli said.

"We could go to the abandoned church just like we used to. Or do something else if you guys want. It's been so long since we all hung out you know."

I smiled weakly at him. He was so excited for us Misfits to be together again.

"We have to leave pretty soon." I said and his face fell for a moment.

His frown didn't stay for long though. "Okay," he sat down on the couch and we did too. "So what do you guys want to tell me about?"

I looked at Eli and he started. "Well, Adam you remember how I told you about prom night?" Eli asked.

It was news to me that Eli had told him but I didn't mind. I'd told Alli and Jenna so why shouldn't Eli get to tell anyone? Plus it was just Adam and I trusted him. I was also flattered that Eli had talked about it afterward, that it was still on his mind.

Adam smiled. "Yeah." he rolled his eyes. "Should I congratulate you or something?"

I laughed shortly. "Not quite yet." My heart started beating fast. "Well, we used a condom and I thought everything was fine but I didn't get my period this month and-" I looked at Eli and then back at Adam, they were both listening. "And the pregnancy test I took came back positive."

Adam looked between us for some sign that this was a joke but when he realized it wasn't his mouth dropped. "Oh my God," he said. "Oh my God, you guys." he smiled. "You're going to be parents?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I don't know what to say, I-" he seemed like he was searching for words. "Would I sound awful if I said I was really happy for you guys?"

I let out a sigh of relief. "Not at all. I'm so happy you feel that way." I started to cry, but this time they were tears of happiness.

He got up and came over to hug me. "But what are you guys going to do about school and stuff?" he asked.

"We're not really sure yet but we'll figure it out." I answered.

"Well you better be coming back to school because I can't survive senior year without you."

I smiled. "I'll try." I said.

"So I'm going to be cool Uncle Adam huh? I could get used to that." he nodded.

"Definitely." I agreed.

"I don't know," Eli said. "I'm all for it but Jake was really excited about being the cool uncle."

"Well I guess I'll have to fight him for it."

"No fighting over my kid." Eli said.

I was confused for a minute before remembering that Jake had said something about calling Eli last night. I smiled and felt really loved.

* * *

We stayed at Adam's house for a while and caught up. It was nice to be all back together again. I was glad that he was happy for us and supported us.

I got a text from Jake a about six saying that his dad and my mom were home.

"Eli, I think we should head back to my house." I said, nodding slightly.

He looked at me. "Okay," he said. "You're ready?"

"I never really will be so we might as well."

"I didn't realize leaving was such a lofty decision." Adam said.

"We haven't exactly told my mom that I'm pregnant yet." I said, standing up.

He raised his eyebrows. "Yikes, good luck with that." he said.

"Thanks, I'm going to need it." he walked us to the door.

"Hey, guys," he said as we were walking out.

"Yeah?" Eli asked.

"I think you're going to be great parents." his eyes were sincere as he spoke.

"Thanks Adam." Eli said.

Adam nodded and shut the door.

We walked to the car and I started going over things I would say to my mom in my head.

She didn't even know Eli and I had sex let alone that I was pregnant. How was I supposed to tell her all of this at once?

It was a shorter drive than I would have liked, but that was probably because I knew what was waiting for me when I got home.

We pulled into my driveway and I didn't move. Eli got out and walked around to open my door.

I looked up at him. My heart was beating in my ears and my stomach was in knots. I didn't know if I was going to make it inside. "Eli, I'm scared."

He sighed. "I know. This is going to be hard but you can do it." he nodded. "And I'll be right there next to you."

His words were kind but still didn't give me much strength. I knew I had to face this though and it was better to do it now as opposed to later. "Okay." I nodded and stood up out of the car.

I took deep breaths as I walked up to my door. I walked in, Eli behind me.

My mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner with Glenn. Jake was lounging on the sofa, watching T.V.

"I'm home." I said. I tried to keep my voice level.

Jake looked up at me with questioning eyes and I nodded at him to let him know what was coming. He didn't have to stick around and hear this if he didn't want to. He clicked the remote and the T.V. screen went black.

"Oh, good Clare. We were just about to sit down." my mom looked up from the stove and saw Eli behind me. She wasn't crazy about him but their relationship wasn't the worst. "Eli, are you staying for dinner?"

"Actually," I said so Eli didn't have to try to come up with an answer. "Could we all have a talk first?"

My mother looked concerned for a moment and tapped Glenn on the shoulder to come into the living room.

She sat down on the couch and looked at me. "What do you want to talk about Clare?"

Eli and I sat on the loveseat across from them. "Well," I started. "Do you remember on prom night when I told you that I was spending the night with Alli?"

She glanced at Eli and then her eyes narrowed at me. "Yes, I do." her voice was normal.

"I, um, I didn't exactly go to Alli's house." I looked down at my hands.

"Where exactly did you go Clare?" she raised her voice.

I started to feel a lump in my throat. "Eli and I, um, got a hotel room and-" I looked up to her her face was angry.

"And what?" the words were spat at me.

"Mom, don't make me say it." I said. Her arms were crossed across her body and her eyes were cold. She didn't respond and I broke. My voice came out breathy and scared. "We had sex."

There was a moment where she didn't say anything. "Clare Edwards, how dare you? You know better than that. You were raised better than-"

"Mom, don't even bother getting mad yet." I shook my head and looked at her.

She raised and eyebrows at me. "Yet?"

I looked over at Eli and he grabbed my hand. I started to cry. "We used protection okay? It wasn't supposed to happen like this but I just-"

"Clare!" she hissed.

I was starting to sob and I knew I looked ridiculous. "I took three different tests and they turned out positive." I sighed and my face crumbled as I spoke. "Mom, I'm pregnant."

She stood up and looked like she was about to yell but gained repose. "No you're not." she shook her head.

"I still need to take a test from a doctor's office but I can't imagine that I had three false positives." I said, trying to wipe my eyes.

"No Clare," she said with a stern tone to her voice. "You're not pregnant. Or you won't be soon."

I looked over to Eli to see if we had just heard the same words and the look on his face told me we had. "Mom, I can't-"

"Yes you can and you will." she yelled. "What will the people at church think? Do you think they'll still think you're a nice sweet girl, Clare? No! Who could after you pulling a stunt like this? Our name will be dragged through the dirt if you keep that child!" she glanced at Eli with fury then turned back to me. "I will take you to a clinic and we will take care of this."

I couldn't speak.

"Helen, I think that if we could just talk about this rationally then-" Glen spoke up but was shut down.

"Don't tell me to think rationally! Not when my daughter was whoring around getting pregnant."

"She wasn't whoring around." Eli said. I could tell he was starting to get angry.

"Don't you dare!" she wailed. "You think you can walk into my house and defend her? Look at what you did to her! She's ruined."

Eli looked over to me and I tried to act like what my mom said wasn't true. He bit his tongue and didn't say anything for a minute even though I knew he wanted to scream.

"Do you think he's going to stay Clare?" she said walking over to me. Her voice was calm but still scary. "He's got big plans. Go away to college and try making a name for himself. Film school isn't it? He'll leave you behind and you'll be nothing more than the little high school slut he knocked up."

"Helen," Jake said from the couch. I noticed that he had been staying pretty quiet.

"Don't Jake." she warned and he sat back down, apologizing to me with his eyes.

"I'm not a slut mom." I said, my voice came out smaller than I'd hoped it would. "I wasn't whoring around. It was one time. I'm still your Clare."

She shook her head and looked me up and down. "No," she said. "Because my little Clare wouldn't have given it up to a boy who isn't even going to stay."

"I'm not leaving Clare." Eli interjected in a calmer tone. "I know that raising a child is a big responsibility and I know that things will be hard but I would never let Clare face this alone. Whatever it takes I'm going to be here for her."

My mom scoffed. "You know that huh?" he nodded. "Well good for you. You get to play the part of the noble boyfriend that stayed. But here's what I know." she turned to me. "I know that you can go upstairs and tuck yourself in and get a good night of rest and that tomorrow morning we'll go to the clinic and takes care of this and we won't ever mention it again. Or you can decide to keep it and you can find someplace else to stay."

It was a tempting offer. I didn't think it ever would be but now that my own mother was offering the option of just making everything go away I couldn't help but think maybe that would be for the best. Eli could go to NYU and I could finish high school like a normal girl. Maybe if I agreed I wouldn't have to be so scared.

Eli squeezed my hand and I remembered when he told me that he would stand by me, whatever my decision was. That he was all in.

"Mom, I-" I swallowed. "I can't, I can't do that." I shook my head, trying to hold back tears.

"Well," she said, voice level. "That's too bad."

She turned her back and walked into the kitchen. "Go and get a bag of things that will last you the night and you can get some more tomorrow when we're at work."

"Mom," I begged.

"No, Clare. I gave you a choice and you made it." she nodded. "Now go," tears were in her eyes. "I can't look at you anymore."

* * *

**Ugh! Crappy ending I know. Anyways, please leave me review telling me what you thought about this chapter and anything you think might happen in the next chapter. **

**I tried to keep everyone in character but I feel like Adam was a little off. Helen I intentionally made a raging bitch because it was fun.  
**

**Like I said, Eli's chapter will be up on Sunday so thanks to those of you who reviewed and said you'd want to read it!  
**

**Thanks for reading!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes.  
**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy. **


	4. Outtake 1: The Same To Me

**Hey everyone!**

**Okay so this up late...sorry. I was away this weekend and forgot to put this chapter in my doc manager so I could just add it to the story and I don't write on/have a laptop so I couldn't reach the file to upload it to so here we are on Monday when this should have been up on Sunday. **

**But anyways, this is the Eli chapter and I would like to do more of these so let me explain how these will work. They will not be titled with chapter numbers, instead it will just be listed Outtake numbers so I can keep track of how many I have. For example after today's outtake there will be another chapter up on Tuesday and that will be chapter four even though there will be five total documents-if that makes sense. I will normally post these either on Saturday or Sunday so they can kind of wrap up the week. Also these will not be posted regularly, so don't rely on them being up every weekend. I'll only do those if I think there's a part of the story that could be interesting from another perspective or something like that and if I feel like you guys would enjoy reading it.  
**

**So with that being said here's the first outtake.  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy.**

* * *

_"I headed West, I was a man on the move_  
_ New York had lied to me, I needed the truth_  
_ Oh, I need somebody, needed someone I could trust_  
_ I don't gamble, but if I did I would bet on us"_

-Dead Sea.

-The Lumineers

* * *

_It was ten after ten and she still wasn't online. I texted her to see if she had fallen asleep or didn't notice what time it was. Without a response she signed on her Skype. _

_The window expanded and my beautiful girlfriend was looking at me from the other screen. The lighting wasn't exceptional and her screen was kind of fuzzy but she was still perfect. _

"Hey blue eyes, you're looking beautiful tonight." I smiled. "I would've brought you flowers but it seemed kind of pointless."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks, you look pretty handsome yourself." I narrowed my eyes at her. Something about the way her voice sounded made me worry.

Whenever something was up with Clare her voice seemed to raise an octave and she sighed through her whole sentence. I could tell she was hoping I wouldn't notice. It only made me worry more though that she was about to tell me something that I didn't want to hear.

"And don't worry, I understand about the flowers." she smiled and it didn't seem so fake. "So how was your day?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, surprisingly tiring. But, I don't want to talk about that right now. I want to hear your news." I sat back and waited for her to say something. I was sure that after she told me about whatever was bothering her, even if it was me, it would make her feel better.

"Are you sure? I want to hear all about you being a production assistant. It sounds very exciting." she smiled.

"It's really not. I pretty much fetch smoothies and get dry cleaning. I'm actually barely around the filming at all besides when I deliver things to Brett. It's not as glamorous as it sounds Edwards."

"Well, are you sure that you don't want to talk about it? After I tell you my news, I'm not sure if we'll be talking about much of anything else." She seemed to curl into herself then. Her legs crossed and her shoulders slightly raised, she looked scared. It was only then that I focused enough and realized it looked like she had been crying.

"Listen, Clare, if this is about prom night-"

"It is." she said.

I tried to prepare myself for an explanation. "Okay, I know that it might not have been what you expected but if I could just-"

"We used protection right?" she interrupted.

My heart sank. Out of all the things I thought she was going to say that wasn't one of them. I swallowed a lump in my throat and then spoke, trying to keep my voice normal so she didn't get even more freaked out. "Yeah. Yeah of course I did. I used a condom."

I tried not to jump to conclusions. Maybe she was just wanting to make sure. She didn't remember me putting one on and was just double checking. It was hard to come up with other possible scenarios.

She started to cry and I knew she was terrified. "Clare," I said.

"Well, it's just that-it must not have worked or it must've busted or something because, um. I-Eli, I'm-' she stumbled over her words.

"Clare," I tried not to yell but it was hard when she wasn't telling me what was going on.

"Eli," she looked at me for a minute that seemed to last forever. "I'm pregnant."

I tried not to scream as she spoke.

"Eli, please say something. I just needed you to know okay? We need to talk about this, we need to figure things out."

"Clare, I, I have to go." I shook my head and turned off the computer screen.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to think rationally. I needed to be there for Clare. I needed to be with her right now.

I started packing my things into my suitcase to last me a week. By then Clare and I should have things figured out enough that I'll be able to come back and get the rest of my things.

I turned out the lights, locked the door and went to the parking garage to get in my car.

As I started on my drive back to Toronto and I lost it.

I was going to be a dad. Clare was going to be a mom. That was our future now and it was my fault.

How could I do this to her? To us? Now things would be so much harder.

I'd always been messed up and I knew that but Clare was my shining light. She was supposed to be valedictorian and have an amazing senior year and I'd side lined her from that. I got to finish high school, it wasn't always easy but it certainly wasn't as hard as having to raise a child and ace a physics test like she was going to have to do.

I'm positive she would want to keep it. There's no way _Clare _was going to get an abortion and I really didn't think she would put it up for adoption once it was born. Whatever she wanted to do I would stand behind her but it would be really hard if she did choose adoption. I knew that this was my responsibility now and if Clare wanted to keep it then I would protect the both her and our child. That's what dads do, right?

I calmed down a little and took an exit onto the main highway. After pushing the car a little past the speed limit I turned on the radio to clear my head. I couldn't be freaked out when I got to Clare, it would only make her more nervous that she seemed to already be.

Suddenly, my phone rang from my pocket. I moved to retrieve it and answered, not looking down to see who it was.

"Hello?" I asked.

"What the hell Eli?" the voice on the other side of the call was clearly angry with me.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Do you even know how upset Clare is right now? She's terrified and you're abandoning her."

"Jake I'm not-"

"But you know what Eli, it doesn't even matter because she's going to be a great mom with or without your help and that kid is going to turn out amazing and I'll be cool Uncle Jake who was always there and you're just going to be the loser dad who never was. I know we were friends but I thought you were different man. You probably don't care but I'm really disappointed in you, and so is Clare."

"Jake I'm not abandoning Clare." I said.

"Wait what?" he asked.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm not leaving Clare, I'm on my way to your house right now to figure things out with her. Why would you think I was?"

"She said you hung up on her after she told you?" he sounded really confused.

I sighed. "Oh no."

"Wait what do you mean you're on your way to my house? You're leaving New York?"

"Well yeah." I shrugged. "I can't stay down here with everything that's happening. Clare needs me."

"Oh my God," he sighed. "You have no idea how scared Clare was that you were leaving her alone with this baby. She will be so relieved that you're on your way."

"Well go tell her so she's not so freaked out." Looking back I probably should have told her I was coming but I was just so concerned about getting there by morning that I didn't bother.

I heard Jake walking and then open Clare's creeky bedroom door. "Clare," he whispered. He did that a few more times but then spoke to me. "I think she's asleep, I'll wake her up."

"No don't. Sleep will help her forget about things for a while. Just let her rest."

I heard the door shut again and I was happy Clare wasn't so hysterical she couldn't sleep. "That's probably best." Jake said.

"So how bad was she?" I asked.

"Well she was just really scared earlier and I asked what was wrong. Then she told me that you guys had sex and was pregnant and I thought she was joking so I sort of...laughed at her."

"I'm sure that made her feel great." I scoffed.

"No, dude, she started to cry."

"You made her cry." I corrected.

"Don't all pregnant women cry all the time?" he asked. I wanted to defend Clare but I figured he might be right. I didn't say anything and he continued on. "Anyways, she didn't know how to tell you and I said that she should just say it. You know she was thinking about not telling you at all?"

I shook my head. "What?"

"Yeah she figured since you would be away for months all at once she could just hide it from you and put it up for adoption after she had it."

His words were a little shocking. I didn't believe that Clare of all people would think to give her baby up for adoption. It's not like there was anything wrong with adoption, I just didn't think Clare would go for it.

"I think she just feels really alone right now. I'm happy you're on your way, man."

"Me too." It killed me that Clare felt awful, especially since it was mostly my fault. "Thanks for being there for her today." I said.

"Yeah," he responded. Things were awkward for a few seconds before he spoke again. "You know I really thought I was going to have to come down there and beat your ass so I'm glad that's not the case."

I laughed. "Right, you get to be cool Uncle Jake instead." I mentioned, referring to what he had said earlier.

"No, I was going to be cool Uncle Jake anyways." he argued.

"Well, as long as you don't put my kid in danger too often I think that'll be okay." I said, trying to get used to saying things like that.

"I was really just planning on smoking weed with him everyday."

"Jake," I warned.

"Too far?" he asked.

"A little." Sarcasm was practically dripping from my voice. "Besides, it's going to be a girl."

"You think so?" he asked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want another me running around all the time. It'd be much better to have another Clare in the world instead." I smiled at the thought of that.

It would be incredible to have a daughter to look after like I look after Clare. To someday get to watch curls bounce as she ran across a yard. To get to look into two pairs of big blue eyes that somehow knew how to make everything okay.

"I have to agree with you there." he said. "So what time do you think you'll get here by?" he asked.

"If I make good time probably about six." I said looking down at the clock on my dash.

"Alright, Helen and my dad should both be at work by then but just give me a call and I'll let you in."

"Thanks Jake." I said.

"Anytime." The other end beeped and I drove on.

* * *

It was about six thirty and I was finally passing Degrassi. I made it to Clare's house and called Jake. I had to try three times before he finally answered.

"Yeah?" he asked. His voice was groggy from sleeping and I idly envied him for having gotten any sleep at all.

"I'm here." I said shortly.

"Oh, okay." I heard him move out of bed and I made my way up to their door after hanging up the phone.

The door opened and Jake weakly smiled at me. "Hey Eli." he said, stepping aside so I could walk in.

"Hey, thanks Jake." I shut the door behind me.

"Do you want some coffee or something?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No I think I'll just head up to Clare. She isn't up is she?" he shook his head. As much as I knew we needed to talk I was glad I could have a few hours just to lay with her and hold her in my arms. On the drive I couldn't stop thinking about how scared she had to be feeling right now. Maybe if we just slept for a while we would both feel better somehow.

"Is it just you two that are here?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I'll be out of your guys' hair in an hour. I have to leave for work."

Work. "Shit." I said.

Jake looked up from the coffee pot he was starting. "What?"

"I completely forgot to call and tell Brett that I had to quit. I'll have to do it later."

"Maybe they won't even notice you're gone." he smiled and I wondered why he was always so happy.

"I'd agree but he'll go crazy without his smoothies." I weakly laughed and turned to head up the stairs to Clare's room.

"Hey Eli," he said.

I turned. "Yeah?"

"I know it probably doesn't mean much but I think you and Clare will be really good parents."

I smirked. "Really?"

"Hell yeah, you guys work like a team, which is exactly what parents need to be. She'll be a great mom and you'll be a great dad."

I sighed. "Thanks Jake." I nodded. "That actually means a lot."

He smiled. "Anytime."

I walked up the stairs and to Clare's room.

The door creeked open and I could see her form on the bed from the light that was just starting to peek in through the windows.

I walked in and shut the door behind me before walking over to her.

She looked so calm and so peaceful that it was hard to believe that our baby was growing inside of her. I didn't know what I expected her too look like, different somehow I guess. But she looked the same to me. She had the same auburn curls that were laying across her face and the same fair skin that was good for kissing. She looked beautiful, exactly like Clare Edwards should.

I laid down next to her and fell asleep for a few hours. I knew we would have to face this but we could do it in the morning because right now I just needed to hold my girlfriend and for us to both know that things would be okay.

* * *

**So there you have it. I hope you guys liked it! Leave me a review telling me what you thought because I'm a little scared that it wasn't enough Jake and Eli as everyone thought it would be. **

**Speaking of reviews, thank you all so much for reviewing! It makes me love this story so much more than I already do :) I don't think I've gotten this many reviews so quickly on stories I've written for any other fandoms so that really says something good about you guys!:) Thank you so much! **

**Thanks for reading the next chapter will be up Tuesday!**

**Whatever. It. Takes. **

**~JuliaGoldsworthy.**


	5. CH 4: No One Tells Clare

**Hey guys!**

**Okay so yes, this is late. Yes it is because my computer randomly decided to stop working. Sorry about that. But here it is now. I'm sorry this chapter can't be more rewarding after you guys waited like almost two weeks for it but-this was the next chapter soooooo. Blame Clare and Eli because they're pretty much the ones writing it :)**

**Anyways, this one is also a little short because I'm awful.  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"Slow it down  
_

_Angie, come back to bed._

_Rest your arms._

_Rest your legs." _

_-Slow it Down.._

_-The Lumineers._

* * *

Clare ran upstairs and I followed after her.

Once in her room she pulled two huge suit cases out of the closet and started furiously packing.

I didn't know what to say. Out of all the things Helen could have said to Clare I didn't think she would suggested abortion. Even though Clare mentioned it, I also didn't think Helen would kick her out. Clare was still her daughter despite all of this and it didn't make any sense to me that her image as a good Christian woman meant more to her than her child's well-being. I knew she could be strict but this was just cruel.

Clare was sobbing so hard she was starting to shake. She was dumping drawers full of clothes into the suitcases.

"Clare," I said but she ignored me. I walked towards her and tried to take her in my arms. Her breathing was starting to quicken and she started to hyperventilate . "Clare you have to clam down." I said.

"Calm down, Eli?" she yelled. "How am I supposed to calm down?"

"You just have to Clare."

"I just got kicked out of my house, I'm pregnant, I have no idea what I'm doing, I-" she was choking on air and I forced her into my embrace so she would stop moving and focus on breathing. She didn't struggle as much.

"You have to breathe." I said. "This can't be good for you or the baby." she looked up at me like she'd heard me for the first time.

"Eli, what're we going to do?" she said after she'd calmed down a bit.

I heard the fear in her voice and saw it in her eyes. I knew that no matter how angry I was that she felt like this, I had to be strong so she wouldnt;t be scared. "We'll go to my parent's house." I said calmly. "They'll let us stay there for a while." she seemed to be pleased with that. "Come on, I'll help you pack."

We'd managed to get most of her wardrobe into the suitcases. I grabbed them from the bed and Clare headed out her door and down the stairs.

When we reached the living room it was empty except for Jake.

He stood up and looked at us. "Helen and dad went to bed." he said.

Clare glanced at him but shook her head. She went outside to the car.

I figured she was mad at him for not fighting harder, for not standing up for us. I didn't feel the same. Even if it was a weak attempt he tried. Helen was still his step-mom and I knew he wouldn't want to cause any further drama by taking our side.

"I'm really sorry, man. I just couldn't-"

"I know." I said and nodded. "But thanks for trying."

He nodded. "And if you guys need anything-"

"We'll call." I said.

I stood there for a moment before he spoke. "I'll see you around man," he held out his hand and I put down the suitcases to shake it. I nodded at him. I could tell by his eyes that he was worried for us and I had to admit I was too.

"Listen, Clare is just emotional right now. She didn't mean-"

"I know." he smiled. He pulled me into a hug and patted me on the back. "Just take care of her alright?"

It should have been awkward but it wasn't. Since Clare was pregnant now, Jake and I were more than just friends- we were more like brothers.

"I will," I said pulling away.

I grabbed Clare's bags and headed out to the car.

* * *

The windows were down and things were quiet in Eli's car. The only sound was the wind whipping my hair into my face and my breathing that would hitch every so often despite my trying to keep it under control.

I was trying not to cry anymore. I kept my back straight and my legs crossed, trying to contain myself before I had to face CeCe and Bullfrog. It's not like I thought they would react the way my mom did, but I didn't want to seem like a pregnant, mess of a girl, even if I was.

I leaned my elbow on the window, which was down, and looked into the night. It was darker now than it was when we had left for my house. Eli didn't talk on the ride to his house and I couldn't tell if I was happy about that or not. It would be harder not to cry if I had to hold conversation, but the silence made me think more about what was actually going on. Without anything to distract me, I was forced to face reality.

I felt so stupid for so many reasons.

Mainly because I'd believed that my mom loved church for religion and not for the social aspects of it. I'd already decided that I loved God no matter what, that was something that I'd thought about a lot when my parents were getting divorced, but to realize that faith really meant nothing to my mom hurt. I think it hurt more than it really should've, because I should have realized it a long time ago. My mom always volunteered to serve at extra services or work at luncheons. She attended every fundraiser and went on every mission trip the church hosted but I was stupid enough to believe that it was because she was trying to be a good person.

Even if she had faked it to make friends, she was still my mom and for some reason I still wanted her approval. I didn't want her to think of me as her perfect daughter. I didn't want to be St. Clare to her. I wanted to be Clare, who she loved unconditionally. I guess that wasn't going to happen now.

I hated to think that what Eli and I had shared on prom night was a mistake but it was turning out to look a lot like one. A beautiful mistake, but a mistake none the less. The things my mom had called me was just a start to all the names I would have to face once summer was over. Parents were supposed to love you no matter what, but your peers didn't have to.

Eli grabbed my hand and I turned to look at him. I tried to give him a smile but it must've been pathetic because he smirked at me. He raised my fingers to his lips and I sniffed, trying to choke back tears.

At least Eli was here. My mom wasn't willing to love me anymore and kids from school certainly weren't going to be begging to be my friend, but I knew Eli still cared. He was here and he wasn't going anywhere.

I might not know how things would turn out. I might have been confused about who I was, but I knew Eli. And I knew that wherever I was going, he would be there too.

* * *

I pulled up to my old house and got out of the car.

"Wait here," I told Clare. "I'll got get things arranged so we can go straight to bed."

We were both tired and I was running on about five hours of sleep.

"Thanks Eli," she sniffed.

I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Bullfrog answered. He must've been off-air tonight and I was thankful for that.

"Eli," he said with a smile. "What're you doing here?"

I was little surprised his welcome wasn't warmer-that he wasn't happier to see me. I ignored it. "Is mom here?" I asked. "We all need to talk about something."

His face grew concerned. "Okay, come on in."

I wasn't worried about telling my parents like Clare was with her mom. They'd practically invited Clare to have sex with me at one point in our relationship so I don't know what they expected to happen. Condoms aren't one hundred percent affective. Clare and I did everything right and we shouldn't have to be dealing with this be we were. And we were trying to handle it the best we could.

I'm sure CeCe and Bullfrog would be worried about some things. Things that parents should be worried about like school and how we would support ourselves financially but we were all worried about those things. However, I don't think they'll be worried about Clare and I.

My mom was sitting at the sink, washing dishes. "Who was that at the door?" she asked before looking up. Her face lit up and she ran over to hug me. "Eli, what're you doing here?" she asked.

I smirked. "I can't just come and visit my parents?" I asked.

CeCe looked up at Bullfrog and I wondered what was going on. "Eli has something he wants to talk to us about." Bullfrog said before I could ask.

"Okay, let's talk."

All three of us pulled up a stool to sit at the counter. They sat on one side and I was on the other.

I sighed and started. "On prom night Clare and I got a hotel room and we...had sex." My mom looked pleased. I didn't know why she cared so much about my sex life but I was happy to see her smile. "I tried to be a gentleman and everything was perfect but-" I stuttered and I realized how hard this must've been for Clare knowing that her parents wouldn't have been as accepting. My parents wouldn't be thrilled but they certainly wouldn't kick me out. "We used a condom. We should've been safe but Clare," I looked between them and they seemed to know what was coming. "She's pregnant."

"Oh, Eli." my mom said. "What're you going to do?"

"Well keep it obviously, I mean-"

"Not about the baby." she said. "I knew that you wouldn't give it up but I mean about school."

I was happy that my mom hadn't doubted me. "I'm probably going to have to take a gap year. Come live in Toronto for awhile so Clare can finish school."

"I'm not so sure about that." Bullfrog said. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Eli you worked really hard to get into NYU."

"University will always be there. I need to be here for Clare right now."

He seemed to understand and backed off the subject of me going to New York.

"Anyways," I said. "Clare had to tell her mom today."

Bullfrog's eyes widened. "Oh God."

"Needless to say she didn't take it well and she gave her an ultimatum." I sighed. "She said that Clare had to get an abortion if she wanted to live there."

My mom looked heartbroken. "Poor Clare. Where is she now?"

"She's in the car." I said.

They looked at each other with a knowing look in their eyes and then back at me. "Eli, we-"

"We would only need to stay here for a little while. A month or two tops. Just enough time for me to find a job closer to home and then find a place for Clare and I."

"Baby boy," my mom said like she does when she's about to tell me something I don't like. "We're selling the house."

My brain hurt from trying to fathom that. "What?"

"We're down sizing. This house was too big when we moved into it anyways and we thought you wouldn't be coming back home except on breaks. We bought an apartment a few hours away."

I suddenly grew angry at them. "The second I move away to college you decide to pack up and move? Not to mention that you didn't even tell me. What I would've come back in a few months for winter break and you would've just been gone?"

"We were going to tell you when we got settled into our new place." she said as she walked over to give me a hug. "Eli, I'm so sorry."

"Don't." I said, moving away from her.

This was too much. It was too late and I couldn't think straight anymore. I'd been rational and patient all day and then when I think I can come home it's been sold. "What am I supposed to do?" I yelled. "Clare is out in the car waiting for me to go tell her everything is okay and I can't do that now because we have no place to live!"

Bullfrog gave me a concerned look. "Eli are you okay?" I glanced over at CeCe who shared his worried look. I thought back and realized I'd forgotten to take my medication this morning. My days had run together too closely and it slipped my mind.

I took a deep breath before speaking again. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just stressed."

"Listen," my mom said coming over to me. "We don't have to be out of here until Wednesday. You and Clare can stay here until then." Bullfrog nodded in agreement and I sighed.

"No one tells Clare." I said. "She doesn't need to be worrying about this right now. She's had a hard enough night as is." They nodded. "I'll go get her." I thanked them and then walked to the door.

Clare had her window rolled down and I could tell she was crying still. The wind was blowing her curls in her eyes and they were sticking to her salty face. She turned and saw I was coming and straight up, trying to look okay.

"Come on," I nodded towards the house with a smile. She teared up and thanked me.

I opened her door and she got out of the car. I got the bags from the back, realizing they were too big for just two nights.

When we got inside CeCe rushed over to Clare to give her a hug. Clare sobbed into my mom's shoulder and I took her bags upstairs.

My room was mostly empty now and I hoped Clare wouldn't ask about it.

My parents moving normally wouldn't have bothered me. It was their life and I understood that. If they wanted to downsize that was up to them. If I had come home by myself to find that my parents weren't going to live here anymore, that would've been one thing. Now that it was both Clare and I, it some how made the whole situation seemed colder. More like betrayal rather than a decision.

I went back downstairs to get Clare and she was talking to my parents. They made us both a plate of food and sat with us while we ate.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here." Clare said sniffling.

"Don't worry about it." CeCe said with a smile.

"I promise it won't be for long." Clare said between bites.

My mom gave her a smile but didn't say anything. She glanced at me before turning her back to the sink.

CeCe and Clare talked about pregnancy things and I listened. I wondered if this is the feeling that my mom and dad had experienced at one time. I knew they were pretty young when they had me and my dad proposed soon after he found out. Maybe that's why my parents were so understanding. They'd worn these shoes before and they knew they weren't easy to walk in.

"We should get to bed." I said to Clare.

"Yeah, okay." she said with a smile. "Thank you again." she turned to my parents and they nodded.

I led Clare up the stairs to my bedroom and as soon as we walked in she collapsed on the bed. I laid next to her and ran my fingers through her hair. She sighed and I could tell she was relieved that we had a place to stay. It was better to see Clare like this for tonight. She'd had a hard day and didn't need to know exactly how long we would be staying here.

She turned to me. "Thank you so much Eli." she said.

"For what?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"For everything." she came in closer to my chest and I put my arm around her.

I smirked and kissed the top of her head. It wasn't soon after that I heard her breathing start to become heavy and I realized she was asleep.

It had killed me to see Clare cry earlier, but this made things better. She had to go through that pain to get here, to be able to smile and feel somewhat better. It just hurt now to know that the next time she cried, it would probably be at my hand. Telling her that we couldn't stay here as long as we thought would be hard, but it had to be done.

* * *

**Yes that was a really crappy ending. Yikes. Leave me a review telling me what you think about it!  
**

**Are you guys just heartbroken that Clare and Eli can't have it easy and live with CeCe and Bullfrog? Me too, but if things were easy they wouldn't be interesting. **

**The next chapter is something I've honestly been waiting to write for a long time because, well, it's cute. So look forward to it and also you might want to start falling in love with the song Heroes by David Bowie...just a suggestion :)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Whatever. It. Takes.~JuliaGoldsworthy**


	6. CH 5: Do You Have A Passport?

**Hey everyone!**

**So here is a super long chapter. I debated making part of it an outtake but then decided not to. Also, sorry that this is late again. But it's long which should make up for it? No? Okay. **

**Anyways, enjoy!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"Though nothing, will keep us together_  
_ We could steal time, _  
_ just for one day_  
_ We can be Heroes, for ever and ever_  
_ What d'you say?_"

-Heroes.

-David Bowie.

* * *

I woke up in the morning and my arms searched for Eli beside me. When I found nothing I opened my eyes and sat up. I looked around his room and didn't see him there either.

Slowly went downstairs to look for him and saw him sitting at the kitchen counter. He was reading the paper and drinking what I assumed to be tea, since I didn't smell any coffee. I was thankful he hadn't made any. I was only slightly nauseous right now and I could put off throwing up for a few more minutes.

I tried to sneak up on him but he must've heard me. He turned around and smiled at me. I walked up and stood in between his legs before pressing my lips against his.

"Good morning." he mumbled into my mouth.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes, our foreheads still touching. "Where are your parents?" I asked.

"Out." he said putting his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him.

I bit my lip and giggled a little. "Well what do you say we go back up to your room for a while?"

His smiled at me before his face fell. "Clare I think we need to talk first."

I backed away. "What? I'm pregnant and unattractive now?" I asked.

"No," he shook his head. "God no, it's just I-" he looked me up and down and paused.

"What?" I said, a little nervous.

He smiled and rolled his eyes. "Nothing." he came over to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him and he kissed the top of my head. After a few moments of me wondering what it was he was avoiding he spoke. "Do you want to help me look for a job?"

"Ugh," I said, pulling away. "Job hunting? That's awful."

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." he smirked and I laughed.

"I'm just sorry you have to do it." I said. "You could be in New York right now working on a movie and-"

"Clare," he said with a sigh. "Don't. I'm here now and that's the only place I want to be."

I smiled and he looked back down at the paper. "So what've you been looking at?" I leaned forward and a wave of nausea came over me.

"Well," he started but I got up and ran to the bathroom. "Clare?" he called after me.

He ran in behind me and I leaned up from the toilet. "Eli, I know this is the only place you want to be, but I don't particularly want you _here_." I said, referring to the bathroom where I was going to empty my stomach.

He smirked and patted my back with and understanding hand before leaving.

* * *

Later in the day Alli and I went out shopping. She drove to Eli's where we then took his car to the mall. Alli was super excited for summer to start and couldn't wait to try on tank tops at all her favorite stores.

I had contemplated not going with her. I didn't know how I would feel seeing her try on things that she would be wearing to the beach or to parties and know that I wouldn't always be going with her. I decided though that I should. If I couldn't stay out all night with her like we had planned we would this summer, then I should do the things I could do now.

Once we were at the mall, she asked if I was going to try anything on and I looked at a few things but I knew that nothing would fit me in a few months anyways. I felt bad that I couldn't join in her excitement for summer like I had all the summers before but this one would be different.

She finished her purchases and we went to a few more stores. We walked around for a little while and she talked about the things that her and Jenna would be doing this summer.

"There's supposed to be this huge rager up north at some beach at the end of July and there are supposed to be tons of cute university guys there. I'm so excited!" she squealed, her heels clicking against the tile as we window shopped. "You could come with us if you want."

"A huge rager?" I said. "Sounds like the perfect place for a pregnant girl." I said, laughing.

I didn't want her to feel like she had to stay behind with me this summer. As she went on about her plans though I realized that wasn't how she felt at all. I think the thing that annoyed me most was when she talked about Jenna.

I didn't really have much of an opinion when Jenna gave her child up for adoption. Plenty of people made that choice for multiple reasons. If she thought that someone else could give her son a better life than her and K.C. could then I agreed that she should let someone else do that. However, now that she was going to go out and party all summer I was angry. She could be in the same boat as me if she hadn't let someone else raise her kid. Instead, I was the one who would be staying home while she did all the things Alli and I had planned to do.

It might've been selfish, but I decided that I wouldn't mind if Alli stayed in and watched movies with me a few nights this summer.

After the mall we stopped by the book store to pick up some things for me. Summer reading books for school, baby naming books, What to Expect When You're Expecting, and some of my favorite novels. Alli got some magazines and then we left.

One the drive home Alli was reading off some names from the book. "What about Sarah? I like Sarah. It's pretty." she batter her eyelashes at me.

I smiled at her. "Yeah, but it's pretty common don't you think?"

"Yeah, I'm sure the world already has enough Sarah Edwards' out there."

"It would be Goldsworthy." I said before thinking about it.

"Really? You're going to give it Eli's last name?" she asked. "I mean I like it and everything and nothing against Eli but don't you think it should have your last name?"

I glanced over at her and thought for a moment. "I haven't really thought about it, I guess." I said.

She nodded in an understanding way and kept reading names. "Well okay what about something old-timey. Like Alice, or Esther?"

"Esther?" I asked.

We both laughed. "Yeah you're right." she flipped a few pages. "Okay what about something really different like Meadow or Iris.'

"Eh," I shrugged. "I don't know why you keep reading off girl names though. I told you, it's going to be a boy."

"Ugh, does it have to be a boy? Girls are so much more fun. Aunt Alli can buy her all kinds of pretty dresses and hair bows and we can play tea party. What am I supposed to play with a boy? Catch?"

I laughed. "Just read off some boy names."

She rolled her eyes and turned the pages. "Okay," she sighed. "What about something longer like Anthony or Alexander." she said. I shook my head. "Ooh, what about Jackson? If you named your kid Jackson I bet he'd be pretty hot. All the girls on the play ground would be like 'Jackson, play on the swings with me' and 'Jackson, go down the slide with me.'"

"Yeah, no, not Jackson. That's not it."

"Right." she nodded. "Oh okay what about something like Emmett or Theodore."

"Theodore?" I asked.

"Yeah I don't like either." she said flipping pages.

"No, I like it." I nodded. "Mark that one."

She rolled her eyes and put a star by it. Eventually we got on the topic of what happened last night with my mom.

"Did she really say all that stuff? About abortion?"

I nodded. "Yeah. And you know I can't do that."

"Of course not." she shook her head. "So what did you do?"

I knew Alli wanted to hear all about that night but I just wanted to forget about it. "We went to Eli's."

"CeCe and Bullfrog are letting you stay there?" she smiled. "For how long?"

"I don't know they didn't give us a day we had to leave or anything. They're so great, Alli. They were so understanding."

"That's good. You guys really need it right now." I nodded. "So what're you going to do about school?" she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Clare you know the ridicule Jenna got when she came to school pregnant."

"Yeah and?"

"Well aren't you scared people will think things like that about you."

I was surprised that Alli was saying things like this to me. I knew she cared what people thought about her but I thought she would've known I didn't feel the same way.

"It'll be hard but I'll deal with it." I nodded. "Besides Jenna and K.C. had been together for a few months. Eli and I will have been together for almost three years now. It's different."

Alli shrugged. "That's true I guess. God, you're so calm. Aren't you freaking?" she asked with wide eyes.

"I was, and I guess I still am in some ways. Eli just makes everything better. I mean, you saw how much of a mess I was before he got here." she nodded. "Now that we're together I just feel like everything is going to be fine. He's going to get a job closer to home, we'll stay with CeCe and Bullfrog, I'll graduate. Everything is falling into place."

"You're not worried something will go wrong with Eli?" she asked.

"Not really. Eli isn't like K.C." I said, since I knew that was who she was comparing it to. "He's going to stick around because he knows this is his responsibility too."

"Eli's a good guy and all but he's a guy. Aren't you scared he'll leave?" she asked.

I suddenly found myself angered at her. My eyes narrowed. "Eli's all in. There isn't a doubt in my mind he'll stay." I felt like I needed to defend him. Eli had been so great since he'd been back that it made me sick that Alli was saying things like this about him.

"A lot of guys say they're all in." she said. I was too annoyed to respond so I decided to ignore her.

We were back at the house and I pulled into the driveway. I said goodbye to Alli and she got in her car to drive home.

When I reached the front door I realized it was locked. I knocked, hoping that Eli was home and hadn't gone anywhere with his parents. There was no answer. I checked for the spare key that he said they kept on top of the door frame but it was gone. I decided to walk around to the garage where there was a door to the house.

The garage was mostly empty except for some trash cans, a pile of bikes in the corner and some old boxes. I walked to the door and was about to open it when I saw something behind a broken shelf.

I reached my hand back and pulled it out.

It was a big red and white sign and it had the name of a real estate company on it. It also had a number you could call if you were interested in buying the property that had the same address as this place. At first I thought it must've been from when CeCe and Bullfrog first bought the house, maybe they kept it for sentimental value. However, after taking a closer look I realized that the dates for open houses were about a month ago.

I was confused. Why would CeCe and Bullfrog be selling the house? It was a nice place with plenty of room and I didn't see a reason why they would want to get rid of it.

I stopped. CeCe and Bullfrog were selling the house. The house that Eli and I were living in.

I stormed into the house with the sign and bolted up the stairs to Eli's room where he was sitting on the bed. He had a book in his hands and headphones on. I walked into his sight, trying to stay calm.

His eyes glanced over at me, seeing something wasn't right and he sat up. "Hey," he said.

"What the hell is this?" I asked, holding up the sign.

He examined it quickly and the sighed. "What were you doing in the garage?"

I took a deep breath. "I knocked and there was no answer." I explained. "What was this doing in the garage?"

"Clare, I-." he started.

"They're selling the house?" I asked.

He nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just wanted you to have an easy night. I didn't want you to have to worry about anything for a little while." he came over to me.

"This is better?" I asked. He didn't respond and I rolled my eyes in an attempt to clear my thoughts. "How long do we have until we have to leave?"

He swallowed like it was hard for him to say. "We have another night but we have to leave tomorrow."

My mouth dropped and I got sort of dizzy. "I don't understand. The couch is still in the living room and your bed is still here. Why do we have to be gone tomorrow?"

"Those things are going on the final truck." he said. "CeCe and Bullfrog are moving into an apartment about two hours away. A new family moves in on Friday."

A lump that was the size of a golf ball appeared in my throat and tears gathered in my bottom lids. "So you let me walk around thinking that everything was okay when you new it wasn't?"

"Clare I just wanted you to have a good night's rest." he explained.

I heard him but I didn't listen. "God, I must've sounded like such an idiot." I thought about how much I had thanked CeCe for letting me in and how I told her that we would be out as soon as possible. Little did I know that our departure would be sooner rather than later.

I was angry in a sad kind of way at Eli. I was angry because he had lied to me but sad because I knew he was just trying to help.

Everything that I thought was going to be okay really wasn't. I thought that we could relax here until we found a more permanent place. Things weren't as planned out as I thought they were and that terrified me.

I shook my head and tried to hold back tears but they fell anyways. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. Eli pulled me into his embrace held me for a second. His arms around me made everything okay for moment but I still had to figure things out. The problem was that I didn't the time I thought we did.

I pulled away and wiped my face. "Okay," I said and moved to get my suitcases.

"We don't have to leave until tomorrow." he said.

"I know." I nodded. "But there's no point in staying if we're going to leave tomorrow anyways. Might as well get a head start so we're not in your parents way tomorrow."

I picked up the suitcases and carried them to the doorway.

Eli came up and stopped me, taking them out of my hands. "Eli, don't." I said, frustrated. "We should leave tonight. I'm sure your parents are stressed out enough as is, with moving and all. We'll find some place to stay but we shouldn't be in their way."

"Okay." he smirked and I narrowed my eyes at him. "I was just going to carry your suitcases down to my car." he pointed at my belly. "Pregnant remember?"

Pregnant people aren't supposed to carry heavy things. "Right." I nodded and he kissed my forehead before heading down the steps. I followed him.

"My parents really don't mind though. We could still stay the night." he said, opening the trunk and putting my stuff in.

"No, we can just rent a hotel room for the night or something." I shrugged.

"A hotel room?" he turned to me and smirked after shutting the car.

He put his hands on my hips and I shook me head with a smile on my face. "Eli,"

"You know what happened the last time we were in a hotel room together?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Pregnant, remember?" I quoted him.

"You were all for it this morning." he smiled.

"Well," I shrugged. "Things have changed a lot since then."

CeCe and Bullfrog pulled up and parked on the street. They walked up with a few bags of groceries and smiled at us. The sun was setting behind them and I hadn't realized how late it had gotten.

"Waiting for us to get home?" CeCe joked. "Dinner will be ready in a few." she said.

"Actually, Mom, I think we're going to head out." Eli said.

"Are you sure? I'm making pot roast."

Eli smiled. "No, not for dinner. For awhile."

She looked between us and realized that I knew. "Well where are you going to go?" she asked.

I glanced at Eli. "We were thinking about getting a hotel room for a few nights and we'll start looking for apartments tomorrow." I said.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You don't have to leave until tomorrow and maybe you could still come stay with us somehow."

I spoke. "I don't want to crowd you. Besides, it's not your fault that I don't have a place to stay." Eli put his hands in mine.

"It's not yours either Clare." she handed Bullfrog the groceries and hugged me. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" she asked.

"Of course." I whispered. I started to get a lump in my throat again but I managed not to cry.

"Well how about you at least stay for dinner?" Bullfrog offered and I said that sounded like a good idea. Eli agreed and we went inside.

* * *

We ate and then lingered for a few hours to talk. I really enjoyed CeCe and Bullfrog and not just because they were so understanding. If I weren't pregnant I would gladly sit with them just to hang out. Eventually though it got late and Eli said that we should probably go.

After promising CeCe that we would call once we found someplace to stay we got in the car.

Eli started driving towards the city where all the hotels and restaurants were. The highway was dark in comparison to the building lights that lit up the sky. After about twenty minutes of discussing which hotel might have the cheapest room without it being too gross to sleep in we still didn't have an answer on where we should go.

Eli collapsed against the seat, frustrated with me. I had been arguing him on his idea to stay in one of the nicer chain hotels that would be more expensive. We were currently in the parking lot of a place called the Big Pillow Inn. "Clare, it won't cost that much more money. It won't make a difference." he said.

"You're right. Let's pay an extra hundred dollars now so we can stay somewhere nice for one night and then when our kid is born and is crying because he needs diapers we'll just explain to him that we needed a continental breakfast."

Eli turned to me expressionless. "Her."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Can we just decide on something?"

He faced forward before looking at me again. "Do you have a passport?"

"Yeah?" I questioned. I'd gotten it when I heard that our school's French class was going on a three week trip to Paris. A trip that now I wouldn't be going on.

"Do you have it with you?" he asked and I nodded.

He put the car into drive and pulled out. "Eli why does it matter? Where are we going?"

He glanced at me. "To my apartment."

My eyes widened. "New York?"

"Yeah. I am already paying rent so it won't actually cost us anything and we can stay there for as long as we need to. Maybe we can take a week off from all this craziness before we come back here and look for a place close to Degrassi."

"I don't know." I said. "That's scary, Eli."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I've never been to New York." I said, frustrated again.

"It'll be fine. You'll like it there."

I looked at him and then back at the road to see that he was getting onto the highway again. "What if my mom calls and says that she wants me to come home?" I said, trying to come up with more reasons to stay in Canada.

"I'm sorry Clare but I really don't think that is going to happen. At least not yet." he kept his eyes on the road as he spoke.

"Well maybe we could stay with Alli or Adam or something." I suggested. "Just for tonight."

"It's already late. They're probably already sleeping."

"Eli, I don't want to go to New York." I said. "It's too far away, unfamiliar and scary and I don't like it."

He pulled over and turned his whole body to face me. He took my hands in his and spoke. "Clare, I know you're scared, okay? If i had a better idea I would suggest it but I don't and right now it just seems like going to my place would be the best option. It's almost midnight and we have to decide where we want to go."

"Is this because you don't want to stay in Toronto?" I asked. "Why are you so determined to go back there?"

"What?" he asked. "No, we will be back well before school starts Clare I just think that right now it would be best if we have a place to stay where we don't have to worry about when we have to leave."

I hated that I had to agree with him. "Fine." I said.

He put the car in drive and took off down the highway.

"How far away is it again?" I asked a few minutes later.

"About eight hours but there won't be much traffic so we might get there in seven." he said. I glanced at the clock and realized that we wouldn't be there until almost eight in the morning. "Try to go to sleep." he suggested. "Time will pass faster that way."

I leaned the seat back and turned so my back was to him. I suddenly realized how tired I was. I couldn't imagine how Eli felt. He had done this drive just two nights ago and probably didn't sleep very well in between.

I looked over my shoulder at him and saw the bags that had formed under his eyes. "Hey Eli," I said.

"Yeah?" he asked, keeping his wide eyes on the road.

"Let me know if you need me to drive for awhile okay?"

He glanced at me and smiled. "Sure."

* * *

"Clare," I heard Eli say from beside me. "Wake up."

"What?" I asked, sitting up. I put seat up into it's normal position.

"We're at the border." he said. "I need your passport."

"Oh, okay." I reached down into my purse and got out my wallet. After struggling to get it out I handed it to him.

He turned down the radio that had been on and we had to wait another twenty minutes before getting to the booth.

"Hello," the woman said. She had brown hair and looked tired. She wore a NorthFace jacket and sat on a stool. Eli greeted her and she asked for whatever paperwork was needed to cross into the United States.

I was thankful Eli knew what he was doing because I sure didn't.

She scanned a few things and then turned to look at us. I ducked my head so she could see the my face matched the one on the passport. I tried to look more awake than I actually was. "Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy," she said slowly, examining our faces multiple times. "Where will you be staying during your time in the states."

"My apartment," Eli said and gave her the address. "I'm a student at NYU."

She seemed to relax some when he said that and after scanning a few more things into a computer she handed what seemed like a pile of papers back to him. He thanked her and drove on.

He handed my passport back to me and I put it in my wallet again. I looked over at him and smiled.

He must've noticed. "What?" he asked.

I contemplated my words for a moment before saying them. "It's kind of sexy how you knew to do all that." I said. "Is that weird?"

He laughed. "Maybe a little, but I don't mind" he smirked then turned back to driving.

After a few minutes I spoke again. "How far are we?" I asked.

"A few hours." He said turning. "You could go back to sleep if you want."

I shook my head not feeling very tired anymore. "I'm awake now." I adjusted myself in my seat to get comfortable.

He turned on the radio again. Heroes by David Bowie came on. I tilted my head back and smiled. "I love this song." I said, turning it up.

" I, I will be king." Eli sang, completely off key. "And you," he pointed to me. "You will be queen."

"Though nothing," I joined in. "Will drive them away. We can beat them, just for one day."

I looked over at Eli who had a huge smile on his face and laughed before singing at the top of my lungs. "We can be Heroes! Just for one day."

Eli laughed and I smiled. "You're a good singer." I said jokingly.

"I know." he said with a smirk. He kept singing and I looked out my window. It took a few minutes of driving down the highway but soon I could see the lights.

I quickly learned just by gazing at them that New York lights were different from other lights. They seemed brighter, like they promised more. Even though it was night time it didn't seem so dark. My eyes scanned the city and it seemed like something from the inside was pulling me closer.

Eli was still singing and I smiled. This truly was where he belonged, with these lights of promise. He seemed happier right now than he had a few hours ago when we were at his home. I pushed away waves of guilt as I stared at him. He was so happy and I was taking that away from him. It wasn't fair. I knew he wanted me to graduate from Degrassi and he said that he wanted to be with me wherever that was but I couldn't help but think I was taking him away from this.

I thought about how confident I was in my plan for the future earlier when Alli asked. Now that things were so up in the air, I didn't know where we would end up. All I knew now was that with Eli beside me, New York didn't seem so scary anymore. Maybe we would stay awhile.

* * *

**Alright, so the whole border thing-I'm not actually sure how that works so if you could correct me on the mistakes I made and stuff like that so if that needs to be written again I can have my facts straight that would be lovely :) The last time I visited crossed the U.S/Canada border was before you even needed a passport to get in so I'm not quite caught up on how things work now. **

**Very Perks of Being a Wallflower esque at the end, I know, but I couldn't help it.  
**

**ALSO something that was brought up in this chapter...BABY NAMES! So, I don't know if I'm going to do a poll on my profile or not but just in case I don't-leave a review telling me what you think the gender of the baby should be and what it's name should be. The names, obviously don't have to be any of the names mentioned in this chapter but anything you think would fit and Ecalre baby :) Ahh! Eclare baby! Get excited!:)**

**Thanks for reading!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**


	7. CH 6:I Don't Think It Makes A Difference

**Hey guys,**

**So, WOOOWW, talk about neglect! I'm really sorry that I've missed two updates now but school started this week and life has been super crazy! In addition to my apology I would like to add that updates will now be posted on Saturday instead of Friday so that will hopefully help me get more up! That will start this Saturday so two chapters will be up this week in total. **

**Enjoy!**

** Whatever. It. Takes.  
**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"Well, I came home_  
_ Like a stone_  
_ And I fell heavy into your arms_  
_ These days of dust_  
_ Which we've known_  
_ Will blow away with this new sun"_

_-I Will Wait_

_-Mumford and Sons_

* * *

Once we were at Eli's building he led me into the lobby, which was decent. I was happy to see that he hadn't just taken whatever place was cheap and close to campus. What I'd seen so far seemed nice and this seemed to be a good town. That made me feel better about staying here.

We took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked to the twenty-second room. Eli got out his keys and opened the door, holding it so I could walk in.

There was a small living room to my left. It contained a small brown couch and chair, along with a coffee table. All of the furniture was pointed towards a small T.V. in the corner. I recognized a crowded DVD rack from Eli's room back in Toronto.

One the opposite side of the apartment was a kitchen. Normal kitchen things like a refrigerator, sink and oven were along the walls. The counter extended out in an L shape to act like a tale. Stools lined the outer side of it.

Eli came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder, resting his forehead against the other. "I'm going to call CeCe and let her know we got here safely." he explained. I could hear how tired he was. "The bathroom is the first door past the kitchen if you want to shower. If not then the bedroom is the second."

"Okay," I nodded. "Thanks." He kissed my forehead and turned for the living room. I went for the shower.

I walked into the small bathroom and got undressed. I turned on the hot water and let it fall over me. My muscles untensed and I felt surprisingly relaxed. It had been a stressful few days and I hadn't had much time to unwind. I figured that I'd better get used to it.

As the room steamed up I could smell Eli's body wash and smiled. The scent of Old Spice and soap filled the shower and I thought about how much I loved that smell. I turned to look for shampoo and conditioner and noticed most of the bottles that sat in front of me had large labels on them that marked them 'for men'. After smelling almost all them I finally settled for a clean smelling shampoo.

It was strange and nice to be in Eli's apartment. Strange only because it was so different my home. This place was filled with Eli. From the DVD rack to the notebooks scattered across the counter to the smell of the place. Walking into the apartment was like being in his arms, and being in his arms was home enough for me.

I was drowned in another wave of quilt as I thought about how much he belonged here. It seemed like Eli and New York were meant to be and I was pulling him away from that. I tried to push the thought of out my head.

"Yeah mom," I heard his voice from outside the door. "We're fine." I tried to listen over the noise of the falling water. "No we won't be staying long, only for a week or two. I think it's best if stay close to Degrassi." There were a few seconds of silence and I assumed CeCe was saying something on the other line. "I know. She'll need to make a doctor's appointment soon anyways." Another pause. "I don't know. I can't think about all that right now. It's late and I've been driving all night. I'll call you in the morning and we can talk about it. Just let me know if there are any decent apartments for sale you think we should come look at."

The silence lasted a little longer this time and I shut off the water to listen.

"I'm fine." he said. "I'll take it in the morning like I always do. I promise." They said their goodbyes and I got out of the shower.

I idly wondered what they were talking about but it didn't take me long to figure it out.

Eli was bipolar and this couldn't be easy for him. Not only being under the stress of going to university but then me getting pregnant. Moving around like this couldn't be good for him either. From his house to New York then back to Toronto when I told him about the baby then back again when we couldn't stay. It had to be taking a toll on him.

Especially when I had been such a mess. He had been the one telling me everything would be okay and I had never really thought about comforting him. For some reason it suddenly felt very important that I did.

I grabbed a towel around my torso and opened the door. "Hey Eli!" I called.

He came towards me and I pulled him into the bathroom. "Um, I know that things are going to be hard okay? But I just want you to know that I'm here for you just as much as you'll be here for me."

"I know. You always are." he smiled with tired eyes. "Now get dressed and come to bed with me." he handed me a pile of clothes.

"No, Eli, I'm serious. Whatever you need I'm here for you. If we're in this together then that means that you'll feel just as much stress as I do."

"I doubt that." his eyes glanced at my stomach and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Eli," I sighed, and went to sit on the edge of the tub.

He walked towards me and bent down to grab my hands. "Clare, I know you're here for me but it's more important that I'm here for you."

"No it isn't." I argued.

"Yes it is. You're going to have enough going on without worrying about how I'm feeling so I don't want that to be on your mind. You'll be going through so much I don't want to pile up more problems for you to deal with."

"I'll just be pregnant. I'll still be Clare and you can still talk to me like before. I don't want that to change." I said.

"Yeah, you'll be pregnant." he nodded. "And that seems like a lot of work. You're going to be making a person, Clare. Have you ever though about that? How insane it is? I couldn't imagine going through something like that and you're acting like it's no big deal. I just want to make sure that the next nine months go a smoothly as possible and I wouldn't want to chance it by worrying you with what I'm feeling."

"Eli, I-" The lump in my throat built up as I tried to speak. "I just don't want you to bottle things up. I don't want you to-" Tears fell and he seemed to understand.

He put his arms around me and I cried into his shoulder. Here I was trying to be strong for him and he ended up comforting me. "I know, I know." he whispered. "I don't want to be like that again either." he assured me. "So how about this," he pulled away and put a hand on either side of my face to look into my eyes. "I'll talk to you whenever I feel upset and I think you should know. And if you're ever worried about it, then you can come to me okay? Just like we did before."

I nodded. "Okay." I grabbed his hand and sniffed. "Okay."

He kissed my fingers. "Now get dressed and come to bed." he stood up. "It's getting real cold without you in here."

I smiled. "I'll be there in a minute."

* * *

I heard the bathroom door close from down the hall and Clare entered not long after.

It was funny to watch Clare in my apartment. She stood in my room with wet hair and wide eyes, trying to take everything in.

"Clare?" I asked.

She turned and smiled at me before walking over to crawl under the covers.

She put her head on my chest and I grew even more tired. Having her in my arms made everything complete. The day could be over now that she was here with me. Her warmth pressed against my chest with her arm slung across me made everything feel right.

"Eli," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She tilted her head up to look at me. She smelled like soap and her skin was soft. Her lips pressed against mine for a moment and then she closed her eyes.

As tired as I was I couldn't fall asleep for a while. Some part of me wished that we could stay here but I knew that wasn't possible. Clare deserved to finish school with the rest of her friends. She had worked too hard to let it got to waste. It just would be so simple if we could stay here. I'm sure I could find some job close and school would be easy for me. We could live here and have the baby and be a family.

I looked down at Clare and knew that I couldn't do that to her. Even if she would never admit it I knew she didn't want to leave Degrassi. I knew that I couldn't take her away from her friends and school just so we could live here. Plus Clare would be going through enough changes this year. Not only would she be having to deal with being a senior in high school and applying for college and taking the ACT and graduating but she also would have to deal with being pregnant. I figured that was enough change without putting a huge move to a different country on top of it.

I knew it was selfish but I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about it.

* * *

Eli and I had fun the rest of that week, pretending to be grown-ups.

It was nice to be someplace that no one knew me. In Toronto if Eli and I had gone shopping I most likely would have seen someone who knew me. They would have known that I was Clare Edwards and probably know that I would be a senior this year. In New York, no one knew that. I could have been Macey or Ashley. I could be out of school and have a job at a newspaper somewhere. I could be whoever I wanted. I just liked that I could be whoever I wanted to be with Eli.

At the end of each day we would come home and cook dinner. We would put in a movie and go to bed like grown-ups do. It was nice to have these days since I knew that this peace would be gone soon. In a few months we wouldn't be able to pretend to be grown-ups anymore. We would have another mouth to feed and another person to tuck into bed. It wouldn't be just us anymore.

It was Saturday around noon. Eli and I had sat around for the entire morning and finally decided that we should go out and find something to do. It seemed like something was always going on here. festivals of all kinds, sites to see, shops to visit. There was never a dull moment.

Ei had just gotten out of the shower and was now shaving. He'd been letting the hair on his face grow out all week and I told him that if he didn't shave it today I wouldn't kiss him anymore. I was drinking some tea in the living room and looking through the baby name book.

"What about Justin?" I called to him.

"Eh," he replied. "Next."

"Mark?" I asked.

"No."

"Sam?" I said.

"Those are all so generic." he said. I could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "Besides they're all boy names and we both know that it's going to be a girl."

"No it won't." I laughed.

"Do you like the name Melinda?" he asked over the sound of running water.

I sipped my tea. "No that name sounds weird."

"Okay, what about Nina."

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Lauren?" he said.

"No that's not right." I threw the book on the table in defeat. "Those names just aren't special enough."

He came out to sit beside me, still shirtless from his shower. "Will anything ever seem special enough?" he asked, putting his arm around me.

"No, I guess it won't." I looked at my hands.

"That's okay. We don't have to decide right now." he said. "Let's do something else."

He leaned towards me and put his lips on mine. His face was smooth and warm, unlike it was earlier, and his mouth moved slowly around mine.

His lips were soft and gentle and I was tired of it. I pulled away and smirked at him.

"What?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head before pushing his shoulders back so he laid flat on the couch.

I put my knees on either side of his hips and crashed my mouth against his. His lips parted slightly and his warm tongue was inviting. He traced the outline of my lips with his and moved against me.

I slowed down and pulled away so I could catch my breath. Our lips brushed against each other as we breathed softly. He put his hands on my back and fingered the hem of my shirt.

We started kissing again and I pressed my chest against his. His hands were warm and gentle on my back and the feeling sent chills up my spine. My breath hitched at the sensation and he smirked. I was useless under his touch. He kissed me with an urgency and sat up so I was in his lap.

He lifted my shirt above his head and I moaned at the cold air that wrapped around me. Eli's arms quickly found their way around my waist and made me warm again.

Suddenly the door opened behind us.

I grabbed my shirt from the floor and Eli jumped up to see who it was.

A tall blonde girl walked through the door. She was wearing high waisted shorts and a white tank top. Her legs were tan and she was thin.

She dropped her purse on the ground and pulled her keys out of the door. I found myself questioning why some girl had keys to Eli's apartment.

Eli stood quickly and put his hands in his pockets. "Lizzie?" he asked. "What're you doing here?"

I shrugged my shirt on and stood up to remind him that I was here.

She eyed me with a questioning look but then turned back to Eli. "You disappeared for a few days and everyone was starting to get worried." she said.

"Yeah," he said glancing back at me for a moment. "There was a family emergency."

"Is everything okay?" she asked, keeping her eyes on me.

Eli answered. "Yeah, everything is great." he smiled and I cleared my throat. "Lizzie this is my girlfriend Clare."

Her eyebrows shot up and she smiled at me. "This is Clare?"

"Yeah," I said. "That's me."

She held her hand out and I stepped in front of Eli to shake it. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Eli talks about you all the time."

"Really?" I looked at him and he shrugged. I turned back to Lizzie. "Well it's nice to meet you too." I smiled.

I felt better about this knowing that Eli had told her about me. It meant that she would most likely wouldn't try to steal him. I probably was paranoid since something similar had happened with Jenna and K.C. Lizzie seemed nice, but so did Jenna, and I was still wondering why she had been able to get in when the door was locked.

"Um, if you don't mind my asking," I started. "Why do you have keys to my boyfriend's apartment?"

Her eyes widened and then she laughed. "Oh my God," she giggled and I heard Eli laugh from behind me. "That probably looks horrible doesn't it?" she spun the lanyard around her finger and then roller her eyes. "Eli gave Ed and I both a key to his place in case of emergency. He has one for ours too." she looked at him and he nodded.

"Oh," I said, blushing. "That makes sense. I feel like a jerk now." I rolled my eyes.

"No, don't." she said. "If someone would've charged into my boyfriend's apartment I probably would've freaked out."

"Speaking of which," Eli stepped up beside me. "Why are you here again?" he asked.

"Well, like I said, we were worried so we just wanted to know you were okay." she nodded.

"I doubt that." he said. "Ed left for a week and we didn't bust into his place." he smirked.

Taylor glanced between us but finally rolled her eyes. "Okay fine," she sighed. "We're making cupcakes and we need eggs so I was coming over to see if you had any." she walked to the fridge and opened the door.

"Good luck, Eli doesn't have much of anything to eat." I said.

"Yeah, I can see that." she said after a few minutes of scanning. "God, do you ever eat?" she asked, closing the door.

Eli shrugged and she kept speaking. "Well, how about Ed and I take you guys out to dinner tonight. I think that would be a good way to welcome Clare to New York." she said winking at me.

"Sure, that sound like fun." Eli said. "If you feel up to it." he looked at me.

"Yeah," I nodded. "For sure."

"Great, there's a poetry slam at Wordliner's tonight too if you guys are down for that after?"

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." I said.

"Great, we can all head out around six. I guess I'm headed for the store." she laughed and headed for the door. "See you guys tonight!"

* * *

After dinner, we went to a little place on the corner with a blue sign that read "Wordliner's". The entire time we were at dinner Ed, Eli and Lizzie had been talking about it. I couldn't see why when we got there. It was dimly lit and most of the light came in from the street light that shone through the large window that made up the front wall. There was a stage where people stood to sing or recite a poem. The audience sat in tall chairs that were placed around circular tables. At the back there was a counter to buy food and drink though it looked like they sold mostly coffee.

Eli held my hand as we navigated through the small tables and different booths. Once we were at the table, Ed declared that he was going to go get drinks and Eli agreed to go with them. Ed and Lizzie both drank lattes but Eli had tea with me.

The four of us all sat and spoke more about their school. I learned that Lizzie was a math genius and that she was going to school for engineering. I also learned that Ed, like Eli, was going to film school.

We didn't outright say that I was pregnant, though Eli did drop a few hints that he wouldn't be returning in the Fall.

"I just can't stay being away from her for that long." he said, looking over at me. Or at least I thought he was looking at me, it was too dark to really tell.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Lizzie said. "The way he talks about you, it's like your his princess or something. He was only gone for like, three weeks and he never stopped talking about you." she smiled at me.

"Four and a half weeks actually." Eli corrected. "And I missed her for every second of it." he placed a kiss on my cheek and I smiled.

"Someone had just finished a poem and everyone clapped. I was glad that this place didn't follow the stereotype of most New York underground poetry clubs where we had to snap our fingers to show appreciation for someone. I'd always hated that.

The lights went up a bit for a few minutes and a girl in a black shirts got up to say that they would be taking a fifteen minute intermission.

Just then, Eli's phone rang. "I have to take this," he said after looking at the screen. "I'll be right back." he got up and walked over to a corner of the floor that looked quieter.

I turned back to Lizzie and Ed. "So how long have you two been together?" I asked them.

They looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. "We're not dating." Lizzie choked out after a few seconds of being hysterical.

"Oh, sorry, you guys are just so close." I said.

"It's okay, but we're just friends." she said. "What about you and Eli? When did you two meet?"

I sighed. "Well, it was in English class two years ago." I said.

"Wow, that's a while." Lizzie smiled.

I nodded. "It is but we just work together. I mean, we've obviously had our rough patches but we've gotten through them." I smiled.

"Now, if you don't mind my asking," Ed started from beside her. "I notice that you're wearing a purity ring."

I started twisting it on my fingers out of habit. I hadn't taken it off right after graduation since I didn't want to alarm my parents, but I hadn't necessarily thought about it much this week. "Yeah," I nodded, my breath shaky.

"Well, I'm doing a short film for my summer class on abstinence and how those relationships are in comparison to couples who have sex. So what's it like for you to not be intimate."

"Ed!" Lizzie shrieked. "You can't ask someone that."

"Well, I was trying to be respectful." he sighed.

They argued for a few moments and I contemplated what to say. I glanced at Eli and he didn't look like he was coming over to save me from this conversation anytime soon. I sighed. "I don't think it makes a difference." I said.

Ed turned his attention to me again. "Really?" he asked.

"Really. Relationships aren't about the physical aspect of love. It's enough to just love each other for who they are as a person."

He nodded, seemingly pleased with that answer. I was happy that he was because I didn't know if I could lie any longer. I was never a good liar.

There were a few minutes of silence and the stage looked as if it was being prepared for another act. Eli walked up behind me.

"Hey Clare, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah." I nodded and went to stand with him where I could hear over the clinking glasses and chatter of the club.

"That was CeCe, she said that there is a good looking apartment near Degrassi that she thinks we should go look at."

"When do we have to be there?' I asked.

"We can go do a walk through tomorrow." he said. "We could leave tonight if you're up to it."

I looked back at Lizzie and Ed who were laughing like normal university kids. Next Saturday they might be back here, laughing in the same way they are now, while Eli would be in Toronto with me. They'd be planning out their Fall classes and we'd be looking for jobs. They would be hanging out with friends and we would be looking for apartments.

I decided that Eli should have one more night to laugh with his friends.

I looked back at him. "I think we should stay here for the night." I nodded. "We can leave whenever you want tomorrow but for tonight we're going to be here."

He smiled. "If you're sure." he put his arm around me to pull me into a hug.

After a moment I pulled away and spoke. "Hey Eli," I started.

"Yeah?"

"I think there's something you should have."

He gave me a questioning look and I twisted the silver band off of my finger to hold it out to him.

"Clare, you don't-"

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked. "My parents know, my friends are going to know when I got back to school, everyone will know after the baby comes. I would've given it to you that night if I hadn't felt like I should keep wearing it." I said. "So here."

He glanced between my eyes and the ring I held out until finally he let me put it in his hand. He tucked the band in his breast pocket and then grabbed my hand.

"You're sure?" he asked.

I looked over at the table where his friends sat and thought about what I'd told Ed.

I tipped my chin up so I could see Eli. "Of course."

* * *

**So I know that was really disappointing after me missing two chapters so I'm sorry.  
**

**ALSO: I realized the other day that I can't keep doing this where I write about their everyday lives while Clare is pregnant because that would take forever to get through nine months. So I will be skipping around the time line a bit from now on. Just to warn you!**

**Please leave a rview telling me what you thought or telling me what you think Eli and Clare's baby's name and sex should be!  
**

**Thanks for reading!**

** Whatever. It. Takes.  
**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**


	8. CH 7: Alive For The First Time

**Hey guys!**

**Thanks for all your awesome reviews on the last chapter! I loved reading all of them :)**

**Here is another new chapter! I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like reading it!**

**Whatever. It. Takes. **

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"Tell you a story and it starts with time_  
_ Moves to how you live, and learn how to die_  
_ Another phase in this world that brings death to life_  
_ So don't believe in everything you see_  
_ Because what you want might not be what you need_  
_ Hold your breath, jump with me and we'll survive_  
_ Cause you are the song that leads me to the light"_

-Tell Me A Story.

-Phillip Phillips

* * *

"This one has two bedrooms and one bath." the landlord said as we walked through the apartment. "It's a good amount of space for a couple as young as yourself." he turned to smile at us.

"How much per month?" Eli asked, his hands in his pockets.

"750." he said. "Including utilities."

I looked up at Eli and I could tell he was trying to keep his face emotionless. It would be hard to judge what was a good price to pay since we didn't know how much income we would have per month.

We had been looking at apartments all week and so far everything had been a bust. This was our fifth apartment and honestly, it wasn't a bad one.

The apartment CeCe had picked out for us would've been perfect if we hadn't been too late. While we were still discussing about how reasonable the price was another couple put down the first month's rent, which we didn't have yet. The two that followed that one were stingy looking. I wouldn't trust my baby to be crawling around on a floor with yellow stains and I certainly wouldn't be washing his bottles with brown water. The one we saw yesterday seemed okay but the reviews we read online said the building got really loud at night with a lot of younger college kids throwing parties. After looking at the average age of the renters there, we realized that was probably true.

This one was decent, not as good as the first, but it was still nice. It had gray carpet with cream walls. When you walked in the door you stood in the living room which was straight across from the kitchen. The whole place was connected by a hallway. To the right was a bathroom with a closet and to the left were the bedrooms. Everything was decently sized and I figured this would be our best bet on finding a place fast.

"Could we get back to you tomorrow?" Eli asked.

"The latest you could contact me is ten tonight, otherwise another man is coming to look at it tomorrow and I can't guarantee it to you." he sighed.

Eli looked down at me and I nodded.

"We'll call you." They shook hands and we left.

"Eli that's the best thing we've seen since the first one got sold." I said.

"I know." he nodded.

"Then why don't we go say that we'll take it?" I asked.

"Because Clare," he stopped and turned to look at me "750 is a lot considering I have no clue what we would be making per month."

"We need a place to live." I said. "And you don't have to make all the money. I can work until I can't."

"You'll have school to worry about, not to mention that you'll be busy being pregnant. I don't want you to get too stressed out. That wouldn't be good for either of you." he said. We walked to the car and drove back to Fiona's. She had been letting us stay there while we looked for an apartment. She had moved to Italy for her job with designer, Fredrico Cavalieri, two weeks after summer ended, but since they got all their money back right before graduation, she was able to keep her condo here in addition to her one in Rome. Apparently Eli had told her about our situation and she sent a key over to us straight away. I didn't really mind that she knew since she was thousands of miles away, but it did make me uneasy to think about who she might tell. She wasn't exactly the best at keeping secrets.

We had talked about staying here for more than just this week, but when we found out Fiona would be returning in the late fall before the holidays, we knew that wouldn't be possible. Plus it would also be nice to have a place of our own.

It was about six o' clock and Eli had gone out to apply for some more jobs. I had decided that some tea and university applications sounded like a good idea.

While I was working on one of my essays my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello is this Clare?" the woman asked from the other side of the phone in a bright tone.

"Yes, it is." I said putting the cap on my pen.

"I'm calling to remind you about your appointment at noon tomorrow." she said.

My first doctor's appointment since I'd found out I was pregnant. How could I forget that? "Of course." I said. "I'll be there. Thank you."

The woman politely said goodbye and hung up. I had been thinking about tomorrow since CeCe and I had made it before we left for New York. There were a few problems with insurance and payments but it all got worked out. Now all I had to overcome were the nerves.

I'd asked CeCe what they had done at her first appointment with Eli. She told me that they mostly just asked her health questions, some that she remembered not knowing the answer to. They also took her blood pressure and listened to his heartbeat. Hearing her talk about it gave me chills.

However, she had gone when she was ten weeks pregnant. I was only at week seven and even though my baby book said I should be able to hear it, some things I read online said it would be perfectly normal if we didn't. Either way, I was just happy Eli could be with me tomorrow since I knew he might not be able to come to all of them when he got a job.

I tried to get my mind off the appointment and work on scholarship and university applications but I soon traded out those forms for my book of names. I was too nervous to write anything intelligent anyways.

* * *

I had just dropped off an application for a mechanic job at the local garage. I used to take Morty there a lot and I got to be pretty close with the owner. Adam told me that Drew had applied there but had been turned down. I figured that I had more experience then him and they would probably like to hire someone who wasn't bound to school hours anyways. It only paid ten dollars an hour but I figured it was better than nothing.

Bullfrog had also said that he would see about getting me a job at his radio station. Even if it was just organizing CDs it would be easy enough and I wouldn't mind doing it.

I drove to Fiona's and found Clare looking through her book of baby names. It's once shiny, pastel cover was becoming tattered and the pages were being highlighted and remarked every day. I still couldn't figure out why she was bothering with the boy names though since I knew she was having a girl. I'd been through it myself a few times and would leave post-its on the cover with my favorites written on it. She always just rolled her eyes and stuck them in the back.

"Hey," I said locking the door behind me.

"Hi." she said. She quickly pretended like she was working on university applications as if I was going to curse her for not doing so in the first place.

I smirked and walked over to her. "So I applied for the job at the garage." I said.

"Really?" she asked. "Eli that's great." she gave me a hug and smiled.

"It only pays ten bucks an hour but I think it will work out. Plus I can alway pick up a few hours at the radio station if I need to." I said.

"In addition to whatever money I'll be making." she said.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't quite sure why she was so stuck on getting a job. "Anyways, I think we should call and get that apartment." I said.

Her eyes lit up and I smiled. I was glad I could make her so happy by doing so little. "Really are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty confident in this job and I think we need to jump on this one so we don't get stuck with something really bad."

She beamed and gave me a kiss on the cheek before handing me the phone to call the landlord of the building. He informed me that we'll have to have the first two months of rent paid by the end of the week but if we wanted we could start moving furniture in tomorrow.

"That's great." I said. It was a little more than I had wanted to pay right away but I had that much saved up for text books. Since I wouldn't be needing money for those anytime soon, I decided this would be a good way to spend it. "We'll see you then." I said before hanging up.

Clare looked at me with anticipation in her eyes. "So what did he say?" she asked.

"We can start moving in tomorrow." I said.

Her face fell. "Tomorrow?" she asked.

I thought about why tomorrow might be a problem and it didn't take me long to figure it out. "Well, we can always go after or something." I said. "Your appointment is top priority." I explained.

She took a long breath and nodded. "Right." she agreed.

I could sense something wasn't right. "Clare, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just nervous that's all." she nodded. I noticed tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

I pulled her into my arms and she clung to me. "Everything will be fine."

"But what if it's not?" she said. "What if we find out that something's wrong with the baby or if we're actually having twins or-"

"Then we'll deal with it." I said. "Just like we've dealt with everything up until this. We'll get through whatever happens." I promised.

She nodded and I wasn't quite sure she felt entirely better but the tears had disappeared and that was good enough for now.

"Everything will be okay." I said.

She grabbed my hands and nodded. "I hope so."

* * *

It was surprisingly cold the next morning, even though the sun was supposed to come out later in the day. Eli and I were driving to the doctor's office. It was about twenty minutes away and I kept the radio on so I wouldn't have to think that much about how excited I was for this visit. Eli's voice filled the air with the music and I listened to him. He was calling our different friends to see what furniture we could get. I felt sort of bad that we had to bum so many things off of people but no one seemed to be that bothered by it, so I figured I shouldn't be either. Besides, most of our stuff would be from Eli's room. CeCe and Bullfrog had put it in a storage building and said that they would take it to our place around three.

I was excited to be able to say that, and not the type of excited I was to go to this appointment, a good type of excitement. To be able to say that me and my boyfriend had an apartment, to say that we had a place that was just ours, it would be so different. It made me feel independent, like we really would be able to handle being a family.

Eli hung up the phone and turned to me. "Are you ready?" he asked.

I looked up and noticed he was turning into the parking lot of the office. I took a deep breath and nodded.

He pulled into the spot he could find that was still closest to the door and we walked up to the building.

"Hi," I said awkwardly to the receptionist at the front desk.

"Hello, do you have an appointment?" she asked.

"Yes, the name is Clare Edwards." I said.

She typed a lot of things on her key board and then smiled at me. "Here you are. They should call you back shortly. If you could just fill out a few forms for us while you wait," she handed me a clip board.

"Of course." I said and took it from her.

Eli and I took a seat and I mindlessly filled out the forms.

It was strange not being here with my mom. Even though I had stopped seeing a pediatrician two years ago, she had still come with me to all my appointments. I had called her to see if she would answer, but she didn't. I still left her a voicemail letting her know where I would be today in case she wanted to come with me. She didn't.

Some part of me had hoped that she would just be mad at me for a few weeks, or maybe a month. But now that I hadn't seen her in awhile and she still didn't want to talk to me, it was hard to think that things between us would ever go back to normal.

I returned the papers and held Eli's hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I think so." I nodded.

"I'll be with you the entire time. If you ever get too nervous just look at me." he said.

I smiled but then I thought about that. 'The entire time?" I asked.

"Of course." he said.

I knew Eli was trying to be sweet but I also knew that certain parts of me would be out in the open during this visit. I also knew that I hadn't shaved those certain parts for a few days.

"Do you have to be?" I asked.

He laughed like I was joking. "Clare!"

"Well, I don't want you to be there when they have to-" I shook my head. I read online that some doctors will measure the baby with a transvaginal ultrasound. I didn't really want Eli to see that. "Do some stuff." I said.

"Clare, it's not like it's anything I haven't seen before." he said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay prom night was way different. I had shaved that morning and the lights were pretty dim in that room. I don't think florescents are going to help me look any better." I said.

"It's not like it's going to look any different than it did that night." he said.

"Just stay above my hips and we'll be fine." I said, my eyes wide.

"So pretend today is the first year and a half of our relationship. Got it!" he laughed.

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but smile.

"Clare Edwards," a voice said from behind me.

I looked at Eli and he nodded. We stood up and walked to the door where the nurse was.

She took us to room 12. I was happy to see that the lights were decently dimmed. There was a normal table on one wall with chairs next to it, like I'd seen before in most doctor's offices. In the other corner there was a larger bed attached to a computer. The nurse did all the typical things nurses do. She listened to my heartbeat and took my blood pressure. Everything felt normal until she gave me my next instructions.

"The doctor will be with you shortly to give you your ultrasound. Go ahead and lay down on the bed and get comfortable."

I nodded and said thank you.

I got on the bed and Eli came over with me. He didn't say anything, he just took my hand and looked at me. I could tell we were thinking the same thing.

This was all about to be more real than it had been before. We had looked at names and talked about being a family but now we were going to see our child. We would here it's heartbeat and see it move inside of me. It wouldn't just be something we had imagine to see, it would be something we had seen.

Before I had the chance to get too emotional the doctor walked in.

"Clare?" she asked. Her hair was long and brown and she wore red lipstick. She was very pretty and somehow calmed my nerves a little.

"That's me." I said with a smile.

"I'm doctor Laura Williams. I'll be the one taking care of you during your pregnancy." she smiled as she shook my hand. She turned to Eli. "I assume you're the father?" she asked, before going over to the sink to wash her hands.

Normally Eli would've cracked some joke about meeting me in the parking lot on the way in but instead he nodded. I could tell he was freaked out too.

"Well that's great. I'm really glad you're here to help her through this." she pointed to me. "I see a lot of girls her age come in here on their own and I'm happy to see that's not the case with you two." she smiled and I squeezed Eli's hand.

She slipped on rubber gloves. "Alright do either of you have any questions before we get started?"

"I don't think so." I said and Eli agreed.

"Then let's go ahead and have you lift up your shirt." she said. I pulled it up to lay above my rib cage. Even though I knew that I wouldn't start to show for a few more weeks, I still looked down just to check.

"Okay, now I'm going to apply the gel. It might be a little cold."

The goo hit my stomach and it was surprisingly warm. My face still scrunched up at the feeling of it though. I felt thick and heavy on my skin. Eli smirked at my expression and I smiled.

"Alright, let's have a look." She a mouse like device on my stomach and started to move it around. After a few minutes she spoke in a happy voice. "Okay, here on the screen." I turned my head so I could see where she was pointing. "Here is your uterus," she moved down my belly a bit. "And here is your baby."

Eli leaned in closer to see it. "Oh my God." he sighed.

My mouth hung open as I gazed at the peanut shape on the screen. "Wow." I said, in a tone that was barely audible. Tears gathered in my eyes and I held Eli's hand tighter.

"Now, let's hear the heartbeat." she turned up the volume and we were soon able to hear a quiet thud. Chills came over my body and I started to cry. My other hand covered my mouth.

Doctor Williams paused the screen but the heartbeat continued. "I'll give you two a minute." she said.

"Thank you." Eli said before she left. I was beyond being able to speak.

We stood there in awe, getting lost in the sound of what was ours. A little piece of each of us was alive for the first time.

I remembered laying on Eli's chest, listening to his heartbeat. I closed my eyes and thought back to all those moments, bringing the sound to mind. I layered it over the one I was hearing now and was amazed by how closely they matched.

I looked up at Eli and saw a glimmer of tears in his eyes. He must've felt my gaze on him.

He looked down at me for moment before bringing my hand to his lips. My teary eyes became a downpour as we reveled in the sound of our child's heartbeat.

I couldn't wait to hear it get stronger an stronger for the next seven months.

* * *

**So the last few lines were crappy I know but I had to wrap it up because otherwise this chapter could have gone on forever. **

**In case you didn't catch on, Clare is about seven weeks pregnant so about two months. Next chapter will be Clare and Eli moving into their apartment so you guys can see a lot of characters in that one :) Like Jake, Adam, Drew, Alli, Jenna, maybe Bianca...lots of people. GET EXCITED! **

**ALSO, if you haven't told me what you think the sex and the name of the baby should be then go ahead and leave a review to tell me what you think!  
**

**See you next time!  
**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy.**


	9. CH 8: We Have A Bed

**So sorry for not updating in almost a month and also sorry this sucks. **

**Sorry. **

**Whatever. It. Takes. **

**~JuliaGoldsworthy**

* * *

_"Will you still love me_  
_ When I'm no longer young and beautiful?_  
_ Will you still love me_  
_ When I got nothing but my aching soul?_  
_ I know you will, I know you will_  
_ I know that you will"_

_-Lana Del Rey._

_-Young and Beautiful._

* * *

"Hey Eli where do you want this?" Jake asked carrying an end table in one hand and a lamp in the other.

"Just put them by the window for right now." I said. I was trying to help my dad move one of their small couches in without dropping it. Even though it would've been nice to be able to stay with them, I think it was better that Clare and I were getting our own place. It was just fortunate that most of CeCe and Bullfrog's was too big to fit into their new place. Why they had four couches I still wasn't sure.

"Alright Eli, I better be going now but you can run the truck back and forth as long as you need to." he said, throwing me the keys to their storage building they'd bought.

"Thanks!" I said. He got into the car my mom was driving and they took off.

Adam started moving in some chairs with Drew. I thought it was nice of him to help out even though we weren't great friends. Although, I guess him and Clare would get sort of close this year with student council and all. He dragged Bianca along and she was pretending to unload boxes. Alli was taking in boxes with long spaces of time in between. Clare, even though I'd told her that I would take care of everything, was moving in light items like pillows and blankets.

Jake came back outside and I pulled him over.

"Hey Jake," I said semi-softly.

"Yeah?" he looked at me and I nodded him over.

I pulled the black and white pictures out of my wallet and showed them to him.

"Clare had a ultrasound today?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, her first." I told him.

"How did things go?" he asked. I was pretty sure he didn't really know what to say. He was squinting at the pictures.

"Good, the doctor said everything is normal so far."

He didn't say anything for a few minutes. He just stared at the picture before handing it back to me. "It's crazy to think it's all real."

I nodded. "I know." I said.

I looked up and saw Clare and Adam coming back out of the house to the truck. Jake handed the picture back to me and walked away.

"So I think things are going pretty smoothly." Clare said, coming to rest her head on my shoulder.

I leaned to kiss the top of her head. Her curls smelled faintly of sweat and perfume. "I'd say so." I murmured.

Just then, my phone rang from my pocket. I dug it out and answered it, not recognizing the number.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello Elijah Goldsworthy?"

"Yes?" I responded.

"We've received your application for the job as our new assistant mechanic and would like you to start as soon as possible."

I looked over at Clare and smiled. I tried to keep my voice calm. "Thank you, when's the soonest I can start?"

Clare realized what the other line was saying and beamed. "Wednesday of next week. Eight o'clock." the man said.

"Yes sir I'll be there." I said.

The other line hung up and I turned to Clare who had a huge grin on her face.

"You got the job?" she asked.

"I got the job!" I told her.

She squealed and I picked her up to spin her around. Not only did this mean we would have money but it also meant that we would be able to better plan for the future. This job would make everything so much easier.

"What's going on?" Adam said walking over to us with Alli beside him.

"I got the mechanic job." I said, realizing how ridiculous I probably had looked.

"That's awesome! I knew you would." he said with a smile.

Alli hugged Clare and Bianca and Drew walked over to us. "Hey is there anything else that needs moved? If not I think we're going to head out." He looked down at Bianca who ran her finger up and down his chest flirtatiously. I wondered if this was her way of getting out of working.

"I think everything is good." I said. "But thanks for helping out." They said goodbye before getting in the car and heading, most likely, back to Drew's house.

"I think I'm going to take off too, Jenna and Connor are having some drama and now I have to go to the Dot and get my ear talked off for three hours about it." Alli said before hugging Clare and getting in her car.

"I think I'm going home too, got a hot date with Becky tonight." he said winking.

"Really?" I asked. "That's awesome."

"Yeah I'll call you and let you know how it went." he said backing up to his car.

"Just don't talk my ear off for three hours okay?"

He laughed and left.

I kissed Clare's forehead and smiled before heading back into the building.

* * *

Later after Adam and Alli left it was just Eli, Jake and I. The boys were re-assembling the bed frame that had to be taken apart earlier to fit in the truck. I was in the kitchen unboxing the few dishes that CeCe and Bullfrong had been willing to give up.

Jake came into the kitchen and took one of the glasses from the cabinet and turned on the faucet, filling it before chugging it until it was empty.

"I just put that away." I said looking up at him.

"Well get used to it." he said refilling the glass. This time he sipped it slower. "You're having a kid, everytime you put something away **she'll** be right behind you undoing everything."

I shrugged and tried to smile. His words reminded me of my mom. When Darcy and I were younger, she was always saying that as soon as something was clean one of us had made a mess again before she could turn around.

Even though we hadn't left things off on the best note, I still missed her. We used to talk everyday ut now it had been over three weeks since I'd even seen her.

Jake seemed to notice my absent mind. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I sighed before I spoke. "Has mom mentioned me at all? About calling me or anything?" my voice was tentative.

Jake gave me apologetic eyes before shaking his head no. "At all?" I asked.

It seemed impossible she could forget about me so easily. "Sometimes my dad will suggest calling you or he'll ask me how you and Eli are doing. But Helen always pretends not to hear it." his voice was quiet as if that would help soften the blow.

I nodded and even though that hurt I tried to shake it off. "So," I said shutting the cabinets. "Are you two almost done?" I asked moving through the living room to the bedroom.

Eli was laying on the bare mattress with his hands behind his head. "We have a bed!" He said cheerfully when he noticed Jake and I in the doorway. He was still beyond the moon with happiness about the job. I was excited for him, not only did he get a job period but it was also something he was good at and enjoyed doing. I didn't think he couldn't found a better job on such short notice.

Eli sat up and motioned for me to come join him. Jake rolled his eyes and shut the door as I walked over to my boyfriend. "I'll see you guys later." he said before shutting the door.

Eli smiled and I crawled in his arms. I was strange to think that this bed was ours. It hadn't been his nor mine. It wasn't something either of us could claim belonged to only one of us. This bed frame, the box spring, and the bare mattress was something we each could take an equal part of. Something that we shared in every sense of the word.

His arms tightened around me and I curled into him. "Things will be good for us now Clare." he said, smiling as he did so.

I knew that he had tried to hide it from me the best he could but I had known that he was worried about how we would get by, especially after the baby arrived. I'd been nervous to but I knew that whatever happened with money, we could fix it. I was really nervous about being a parent.

Without anyone to guide me when things went wrong. Sure I had CeCe and she was amazing, but it wasn't my mom. It would be different and hard but somehow I figured that with Eli beside me, things really would be okay.

"Everything will be fine." he said. His fingers were running mindlessly through my curls and I looked up at him. He was still in his own head and I smiled.

I rested my head on his chest before sighing shakily. "I know."

* * *

There were a few things I learned quickly after living with Clare for that first week.

One was that her hair always clogged the drain after she showered, which seemed like it was almost too often. Another was that at night when bags would form under her eyes she would exchange her contacts for glasses, which she had never done in front of me before. Another was that in the morning when I would wake up to get breakfast started or run errands so she wouldn't have to, she would make little sighs as she slept. Lastly, after living with Clare so closely for such a short amount of time, I knew that I could never live without her.

Today was Wednesday, as in the first day of work. I didn't think I had ever been this nervous for anything before. Now that our futures were relying on this job to be a good one I didn't know what I would do if it didn't work out.

I went through the things Clare and I had talked about last night on my way to the garage. I had showered and shaved so I looked nice, I had eaten a bagel and taken my meds so I wouldn't crack on the first day, and I practiced my first impression smile before leaving.

I could hear Clare's voice in my head. 'Don't be sarcastic with the boss.' she had said_. _ I smirked thinking of our conversation in the bedroom last night. 'Also, call him sir...a lot. Bosses like that.'

I took a deep breath and pulled into the parking lot.

The bell dinged as I walked into the mechanic's front lobby. It was a small place with white walls. The matching tile floors had seen years of scuff marks and smudges but it was homey in a strange way. The smell told me I had wasted my time with a shower.

A larger mad with thinning white hair walked towards me.

"You Eli?" he grunted. He had a styrofoam cup in his hand and a pack of cigarettes peeking up from his chest pocket.

I raised my eyebrows. "Me?"

The man gave me a disappointed look and I felt the need to straighten up. "Yes, I'm Eli."

"Great." he threw a navy blue collared shirt at me. "Change into this and follow me out in to the garage." he motioned for me to go behind the counter and I did. For a man his size he moved rather fast. I stripped off my shirt and changed into the new one as we walked.

As I buttoned up he kept talking. "You'll need to get a pair of steel toed boot of at least ankle of height. Now, I can understand that those can be sort of expensive so I'll give you until the end of the week to get those. Until then," he stopped and turned to look at me so fast I almost ran into him. His eyes rolled at my converse sneakers. "I guess those will do." he walked and talked on. "Also, you'll need a pair of black work pants but wear jeans for today. As for tools you're very fortunate to be working at this garage because we supply each of our mechanics with their own set of tools. You're welcome." he stopped in front of a red SUV and turned to me. "This is you station, from now on you'll report here after you clock in. This is your first car, give it a diagnosis, fill out the paper work and I'll talk to the owner." he threw a clipboard at me and I trapped it against my chest. "Now, there's the information, there are you tools and these are your co-workers. If you need anything you can find me in my office." he sipped his cup and walked away.

I stood baffled. "Yes sir." I said.

"Oh and Eli," he turned to me again. "

"Don't need anything." he winked at me and walked away, slamming a door as he did so to let everyone know it was time to get to work.

* * *

**Wow yep, sorry guys that was awful but if you feel like leaving me a review about it please do so. Also tell me what you think the gender and name of Eclare baby should be. **

**I promise to update more often :)**

**Whatever. It. Takes.**

**~JuliaGoldsworthy.**


End file.
